a dance?

Seventeen - Renee

Seventeen - Renee

I am snuggled up in my grandma's comforter, my eyes can't seem to fall asleep. By chance, if they do, they're filled up with the digits of Valerio. I turn and entangle myself inside the comforter, pulling it up to my chin. I tell myself I should call him when I wake up in the morning, as my eyes and body drift off to sleep.

This new world unfolds before me. I am in a flower field, a few yards away resides a cottage. I guess that's where I live. It's like a huge cottage where you could actually consider it a dreamy hotel in the countryside. I am wearing a white gown that flows through the grass, I stare into the sunrise. I hear a chorus of laughter, as I turn and see a group of friends leaving the cottage. One of them stops after the stairs and waits for the others to get inside an open four-wheeler. The vintage car is painted sky blue and it's windows look shiny. Must have been cleaned the night before. The car starts the engine and drives off while the man waves. I watch the car drive into the distance. By the time I turn back, the man is out of sight.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty!" My father sings, as he enters my room and splits the curtain into half, and allows sunlight to come into my room. I squint my eyes and groan. "Ah, someone was waiting for their prince charming to wake them up huh?" He teases, walking up to me and slowly taking the comforter away from me. As much as I would like to have his optimism in the morning, my mind is still in the dream.

"Good morning pa," I say, smiling at his sun-kissed face, as I place my legs onto the floor. "Did you sleep well?" He asks, and I get up. "Yes, how about you?" He grins, "Couldn't be better."

We both enter the dining room as Grandma and my mother set the table. "Ma, you don't have to-," My mother says, "Oh, Anita, you do so much, it's the least I could do. Plus my hands don't like to sit there with boredom." Grandma chuckles softly, stretching her fingers. My mother looks at my father with a so-that's-where-he-got-the-adventure-soul. My parents' chemistry is something I hope to have with my future husband. They always know how to bring out the best in each other, and make me have hope that there's true love in this world.

The table is filled with old stories and nostalgia that makes me chew on my food slowly. "You know Renee darling, your father technically lived outside, he only came back home for food, or just to say he's home after school, or to tell us stories of what happened. He was always outside with his friends but knew how to stay in touch with us." Grandma said, winking at my father whilst sipping on water. "He still does that you know?" My mother joins, My father rests his elbow on my mother's shoulder. "At first I used to be disappointed at how my son wasn't spending time with us as a family, but ever since your mother came along-" Grandma continued, "Love, would you need anything else to eat?" My mother changes the subject, her eyes wanting me to say yes. "AYE!" My father teases, "Ma, you carry on!" His hand motions, while my mother's cheeks burn.

"Your mother and father really knew each other's potential and brought them out. It made me and my husband feel proud of how well we raised our son," Grandma's eyes get blurry, "Oh, don't mind me, these are just tears of a proud grandmother." She adds on, while I go get a tissue. "Thank you darling-" Grandma wipes her eyes and blows her nose. I glance at my parents: my mother rests her head on my father's shoulder, and it makes me smile from ear to ear.

"Then you came along, and you looked like you came from the heavens." My mother took on from Grandma. Grandma's now smiling as if my mother knew what she wanted to say. I can't help but my ears turn red. My father's looking at me fondly as I am trying to fit another spoon into my mouth just to distract my ears.

"See how the outside world makes you discover so much. I would think my son preferred his friends over his own parents even if he denied it, but his answer would always make me smile: 'You're my home, the place where my heart is.'" Grandma continued, "Now, Anita and you are where his heart is, that's his home. Right now, we are your home. Similarly, you would find someone where your heart feels safe, they would soon be your home." My father takes on, as I almost miss my mother winking at me. I know where she's getting at.

While I was helping my mother wash the dishes. "So have you decided to call him or not?" My mother nudges my elbow. "Ma, I don't know," I admit. Even if I have said I would call him first thing in the morning, that was just to trick my mind to get some sleep. She stops the running water. "What do you mean you don't know?" "What would he think of me after that? What if he says 'no I am sorry I won't be able to come'?" I say, trying to mock Valerio's voice. My mother laughs at my attempt.

"Love, you can't say anything until you give it a try. Who knows, maybe he must be wondering what was wrong with you when you had said that, and must be figuring out how he can reach you?"