𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 || 𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞

𝐜𝐡𝐩 𝟕

" The Wall "

"Ushi-i-ijima." You stuttered as he blocked you from entering your house. "Please explain." He blankly said.

Steadily you calmed your breathing. "I can explain but can I please rest for a moment." You nervously said. Ushijima silently moved out of the doorway for to enter.

Quickly you lied your belongings down on your couch and sat down. Ushijima sat beside you. "Now explain." He said in a deep tone.

"I promise you Ushijima it's nothing like that alright. Me and Tooru just went to see a movie together." You said staring down at your feet. "What movie?" He asked.

"We went to see the movie 'Stars'." You sighed and looked up at him. "Oh really?" Ushijima said leaning back. You nodded.

"Have you forgotten about my rivalry with Oikawa." Ushijima said seriously. "No I-" you stuttered feeling cold sweat drip down your neck.

"Your hesitant." He said crossing his arms. "Am I..." you said aloud. Ushijima came closer to you and pulled you closer to him. He forced you to lie on his chest.

This was the first time Ushijima had forced you so aggressively. You felt your body begin to shake. The butterflies you once had when u were around him were completely gone.

"I keep trying my best to be there for you but..." Ushijima said before you cut him off. "Be there for me?" You questioned. You stood up from lying on Ushijima.

"You were never there for me!" You shouted feeling this underlying rage and sadness release. "(y/n) what are you..." He said but you cut him off again.

"Just now you decide to come back and comfort me after the number of times you've left me alone. You always so narrow-minded and never make time for me anymore. I get you want to have a successful volleyball career and all but telling me you'll be there for me and then ditch me and ghost me. You don't understand how much pain and loneliness you've put me through Ushijima." You cried with tears streaming down your cheeks.

Finally you were letting out your bottled emotions you've kept in the entire time.

Ushijima sat there stunned and wide-eyed. "So don't tell me that your trying your hardest to be there for me. If you can't even keep your promises then what's the point of all this. In order for this to work you need to be honest and keep the promises you make. You keep raising my hopes and in the very end im left disappointed in myself. This entire time i've been blaming myself for this." You sighed and tried covering your face with your hair.

No words escaped Ushijima's mouth. He was speechless. This was the first time you've ever actually opened up to him.

"The only thing I kept telling myself was that 'was this my fault' 'am I not good enough' 'what did I do' ?" You softly whimpered as you continued on.

"I'm done Ushijima. I'm done being hurt by you." You said wiping a tear from your eye.

Ushijima sat there still staring to your eyes. This was also the first time he's ever seen you genuinely cry.

You sat back down next to him, "And guess what... I'm still in love with you. You are and were my first boyfriend. I've been deciding this for the longest time and finally the answer had came to me. I want to be happy Ushijima." You softly smiled wiping the remaining tears off your cheek.

"Your still in love with me.. we can make things work (y/n)." Ushijima said. He grabbed your hands softly. You shook your head, "I want to he happy... with someone else."

Saying those words crushed me but it probably crushed Ushijima way worse.

He still held my hands and stared into my eyes longingly. "I'm sorry." You said.