Right Choice?

Carmen looked down from the terrace to the swimming pool and saw the holiday makers playing around and having fun. She looked across at the people enjoying the afternoon sun on their terraces.

She sat down and sipped at her coffee.

Carmen remembered the tough decision to ask Rafael to leave. He had moved in only three months ago, she was at her lowest point ever. 

They had now been seeing each other each weekend for almost seven years, but after the death of her brother Carmen had sunk into depression and Rafael had decided to move in permanently to help her.

But Carmen had not coped well with the death of her brother, it seemed so final. Everything came back to her. She had always kept going, no matter what life had thrown her way. The death of so many family members, her failed marriage, nursing Hans through cancer, she had always managed to bounce back and get on with life, but with the death of her only surviving brother she had fallen into depression. She remembered feeling so lost, so alone, even with Rafael there.

As the weeks went by she realised that Rafael could never fill in any gap left by so many people. She really did like him, but she had to admit to not loving him.

Should she just keep going, let him stay, after all he was company, they went out for meals, walks and had had a few holidays.

Or should she tell him the painful truth, that she was not in love with him, that he couldn't help her loneliness, in fact him being there some how made her feel more lonely. Trapped in a loveless relationship.

So she had decided to ask him to leave. It had been hard. He was so in love with her and had wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he had cried and was so upset.

But she had been strong and finally he packed up his things and left.

That first evening she had been lonely, she had missed him and had wondered if she had made the right decision. After all, at 77 years old she was not about to find love again.

That was fifteen days ago. During these last fifteen days she had joined a ladies club and had met two fabulous ladies who had experienced similar heartaches, who were now on their own and looking for simple companionship, just like her.

And for the first time in such a long time Carmen was completely on her own but feeling happy. She didn't feel lonely or trapped. She was free to make all her own decisions and do what ever she pleased.

She was looking forward to tomrrow and everything it may bring.