1. Elections are Stupid

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TW: drinking, mentions of murder
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Y/N POV

"Why hello there, Mr. Soot. Mr. Innit." I nod at the two people in front of me, wondering what the hell they wanted from me. I gesture at the sign by my door. "Did you not notice the sign, or am I actually getting kidnapped?"

The sign in question reads "Get off my property. Unless you're kidnapping me in which case hurry up and get me out of this hellhole."

Really captures my whole personality, if I do say so myself.

"Actually, no. We just wanted to let you know about the upcoming election." Wilbur explains.

I furrow my brow. "Election? Why the hell are you having an election?"

"CUZ WHY NOT B*TCH-" Tommy shouts before Wilbur smacks him on the back of the head to shut him up.

"Ignore him. I figured I should hold an election and get myself officially elected instead of just declaring myself president."

"Why would anyone in their right mind elect you as president?" I ask.

"Unlike you, Wilbur is actually a decent person." Tommy says.

I hold up a hand to stop him from continuing what he's saying. "Hush, child, the adults are speaking."

"YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME A CHILD -"

"I did. Got a problem with it?"

Wilbur interrupts our little conversation. "At the moment, there's only two parties running. POG2020, which is me and Tommy, and SWAG2020, which is Quackity and George."

"So L'manburg is screwed no matter what?"

Tommy opens his mouth to start yelling at me for my comment, but Wilbur glares at him before he can. "That is a matter of opinion."

"How does one sign up for said election?"

Wilbur gives a strained smile. "Sorry, only those with... a clean record can run."

"Let me get this straight. Tommy can run with you despite being the little gremlin he is, and you can run even though you are, and I quote, 'a dirty crime boi', but I commit ONE MURDER and suddenly I'm too much of a criminal to run?"

"Yes," both of them say at the same time.

"Thanks for clearing that up, it's totally fair." Sarcasm drips from my every word.

"Glad you understand." Wilbur says, his tone completely serious. They always choose to ignore my sarcastic statements. Or maybe they're just really oblivious. Who knows with these idiots?

"Anyways, we just wanted to let you know about the election, and also tell you there will be a debate tomorrow, as well as some endorsements for each party." Wilbur continues.

"Fun."

"You are required to attend both."

"WHAT THE HELL! WHY?" The last thing I want to do is go sit and listen to boring political sh*t.

"Part of your sentence, remember? Forced participation in all events you express disinterest in. In other words, all events."

"THIS IS BULLSH*T!"

"Goodbye, y/n. I'll send someone to escort you to the debate tomorrow."

I yell curses at them as they walk off, leaving me alone on my doorstep. I groan in frustration as I walk back inside and slam the door. I f*cking hate how many events these people have. This is the worst part of my punishment if I'm being honest. Even worse than the ankle monitor.

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