Hand in Hand

6. Burden

From Ermich to Wall Rose was about an hour. An hour of horse hooves kicking up grass and stray titan sightings, an hour of listening to the creaking of the wooden cart and the sun beating down as they rode on horseback in a tight formation. For almost the entire ride, (y/n) looked down at the inside of the cart but every once in a while she'd look up at the faces of her comrades and nausea would wash over her.

They all had the same look on their worn-out faces. Dark purple stained under their eyes and sweat beads dripped from their hairlines. Was it selfish to not want to rush to the sight where the Armored and Colossal titans had just appeared? The last time they had shown their faces was about five years ago when they destroyed Shiganshina District, allowing titans to breach Wall Maria. After the chaos had settled down, it was like they had already disappeared in thin air. No one had seen them leave and no one has encountered them all this time. So why are they back now?

'I wonder if Hanji is dead. Everyone I care about just seems to die.' (Y/n) thought, looking up towards the sky. A small tanager flew above.

Looking ahead towards the front of the formation, she could lightly make out Erwin's thick figure and his white horse. He never seemed to get tired of the uncertainty that came with this job. The thought of someone with an unlimited amount of energy baffled her. Even Hanji's enthusiasm had a time limit. It was almost as if Erwin was constantly pushing himself to meet a goal, like being Commander wasn't enough for him.

(Y/n) couldn't help but think how different he and Levi compared. Tall and broad to short and thin, beaming and selfless to scowling and apathetic; they were textbook opposites. Erwin was the early morning, bringing new ideas and a fresh start to your life. Levi was the middle of the night, uncertain and dark. Anything could happen in the dark.

"Cadets, keep straight forward!" Erwin's voice bellowed. "Wall Rose ahead!"

(Y/n) looked ahead, past Erwin. Wall Rose's immenseness appeared in the distance, the tip of the sun shining brightly over the edge of the wall. They were close. (Y/n) was close to Hanji, Erwin was close to his truth, and, with every mile, they were all closer to Death.

As the distance between the scouts and the wall began to close, (y/n) checked her ODM gear and gathered herself. There was no doubt in her mind that she would be the first cadet on the wall, selfishly leaving her comrades to help deploy lifts to bring the horses to the other side of Wall Rose themselves. With everything that Hanji has done to help her in the four years they've known each other, the least she could do was be selfish when it came to Hanji. When Levi wasn't there to keep his promise, she had to get over her doubts and protect the one person who made her feel like she wasn't alone.

The cart began to slow and (y/n) jumped out before it came to a complete stop. Even though her heart was pounding, even though her legs felt like jelly, even though she could feel searing stares on her back, she ran straight to the wall and aimed her ODM gear. The gear's grapple hooks reached up, latched on to the top wall, and hoisted her fifty meters in the air.

With a sharp click of metal, the grapples were sucked back into the gear, and (y/n) was met with the thin air from on top of the wall. From this high up, her comrades were merely little specks on the ground.

Taking in the sight on top of the wall, it was clear as to why the Armored and Colossal titan were able to take Eren. They had the upper hand. Countless scouts were laid on their backs with visible wounds. The ones who weren't laying down were slow moving and hopeless.

"Hanji!" (Y/n) yelled breathlessly. "Where are you?"

"(Y/n)?"