Hand in Hand

12. Retreat

Hannes closed his eyes, tried to block out the sound of Eren's screams, and accepted his fate. His tears mixed with the blood on his face and slowly dropped onto his cheeks. With one last breath, he whispered a small prayer, and patiently waited for the pain to end. It was all he could do.

Soon, he would be reunited with Eren's mom, be able to see her smile again and apologize for his cowardice. He knew this would not be the last time he'd see Eren, Mikasa, or Armin, but it wouldn't be, at least he hoped, for a while until that day came. The last thing he felt was a sharp pressure biting down around his head. Finally, there was silence.

(Y/n) slowly got off her horse and sunk to her knees, watching in horror. The person that she promised wouldn't have to die had already taken his last breath. She had only just met him earlier that day. The hours they spent fighting alongside each other had now felt like distant memories.

'Why?' She thought, grabbing fistfuls of grass. 'Why do people die so easily?'

She thought back to her life in Jinae, her grandparents' wrinkled smiles, Sabrina's warm laugh, and the way she never thought of dying. She had taken Death for granted, thinking that he'd never be able to reach her or anyone she loved. People worked so hard to create a good life just for death to take everything in an instant. It wasn't until she joined the Survey Corps that she realized how oblivious and juvenile her thinking had been. Death wouldn't stop for anyone, so why would he stop for her?

(Y/n) turned to the calloused hand on her cheek. She had not realized she'd been crying or that Erwin had been kneeling down beside her, letting her lose herself in her own thoughts. Her heavy eyes traveled to his right shoulder where his arm was missing and then to his face. She wondered if there was anything in the world as blue as his eyes or as kind as his smile. Despite all the pain that she knew he was in, Commander Erwin still looked at her as if nothing had happened.

Leaning into the left side of his chest where his good arm was, she said, "I told him he didn't need to die today, Erwin. Why did I say such a stupid thing?"

Erwin sighed and replied, "It's not a bad thing to look for the good in life." He looked up at the top of the hill to Eren and Mikasa. In the midst of everything, they were speaking so casually as if they were the only two people in the world.

He then pried (y/n) from his chest and placed his hand under her chin, bringing her closer. "We are born innocent and then, especially in this life, we are corrupted by the selfish choices we make. Don't regret the choices you've made, just make peace with them. Death is the only reason why we're able to appreciate life."

'What an intimate thing to say,' (y/n) thought.

She was about to respond when Eren's screams filled her ears. She broke away from Erwin and looked towards the top of the hill.

Eren was on his hands and knees, laughing and screaming hysterically. Banging his arms in the dirt he yelled, "You're still a good for nothing little kid! Look at what you've done!"

"Eren," Mikasa whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder.

No matter what physically hurt her, looking at Eren in such a tortured state would always hurt Mikasa the most. If only he would just surrender his heart, she knew she would be able to protect it as well as she did his body.

Anger bubbled in (y/n)'s body at the sound of Eren's laughter. She reached for the blade at her side and pushed away from Erwin. He grabbed her hand before she could fully stand up and, pushing through his pain, pulled her body towards him.

Shaking his head, Erwin said, "Let them be. This is their fight, not ours. As selfish as I'd like to be right now, we need to let Eren do this own his own." He looked past her and smiled. "I think he's already begun to figure it out."

Confused, (y/n) looked up towards the kids. The titan that had killed Hannes was towering over Eren and Mikasa. Slowly, it outstretched an arm and reached down for Eren, who was standing proudly before it.

"He'll get himself killed!" (y/n) yelled.

Erwin kept a hand on her back, signaling for her to hold back and to trust his word. They watched as Eren took a small step back and screamed, lunging forward to punch the palm of the titan's hand. A surge of power bloomed throughout Eren's body.
From the tips of his toes to the top of his head, an electric spark flowed into him and out his fist.

Piercing shrieks from titans erupted from behind them and (y/n) whipped around, ready to fight. She watched as a titan ran on all fours and up the hill, completely ignoring her and Erwin. It leaped over Eren and Mikasa and sunk its claws into the titan that killed Hannes. More titans began to race past them and onto the titan, tearing at its skin and ripping off its limbs.

Erwin stood up and looked around the field. His cadets stood in disbelief, clinging to their horses in fear. "Scouts! This is our chance! With all you have left, find a horse and retreat!"

Eren began running down the hill towards Commander Erwin and (y/n) with Mikasa on his back. "Commander!"

(Y/n) shakily stood up and grabbed the reins of her horse. "Eren, take my horse and ride it back. Let Mikasa ride with you, she was grabbed by a titan. She'll need medical attention as soon as we get back."

Eren nodded and he and Mikasa mounted the horse, riding off towards home. (Y/n) turned towards Erwin who was already on his horse.

"Are you just going to stand there?" He asked with a raised brow.

She shook her head and mounted his white horse, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Does this hurt?"

"No," Erwin replied. "I can take it."

He whipped the reins with his left arm rode off towards the other scouts. With Erwin's final order to retreat, scouts had gladly taken the opportunity to gather whoever was left and leave the battle.

As they rode, (y/n) looked back towards the Armored Titan. Eren must have sent another commander because more titans had begun to jump on the Armored, stopping it from chasing after them. It was on its knees trying to desperately shake off the smaller titans. She gave it one last glance before turning away and pushing her forehead onto Erwin's back. She never wanted to look back again.

The scouts had fought valiantly today, so had the MPs. The death toll was sure to break record numbers but no one was thinking about that. Those who had survived today were only thinking about making it back home to their friends and families. The images of their comrades' torn bodies would be burned in the back of their minds forever, but today, they had won. No matter how many lives were taken on the battlefield, today would be written down as the day humanity bested the Armored Titan.