Hand in Hand

28. Desire *

The old wooden door to Sannes' cell gradually creaked open. Levi's head instantly lifted to find Hanji in the doorway.

"She's fine," Hanji said flatly, closing the door behind her. Despite her conversation with (y/n), Hanji couldn't help but feel jealous at the idea of Levi taking up all of (y/n)'s time. Still, it was her own fault. She had used the two squads working together as an excuse to push their friendship.

Instinctively, Levi stood up. He brushed off his uniform and headed towards the door. "Sannes should be waking up soon and-"

"(Y/n) is asleep," Hanji snapped. She was stunned by the harshness in her voice but her face remained flat. "Don't wake her up."

Levi's hand lingered on the doorknob. He wasn't used to anyone using such a tone with him, let alone Hanji. It was new and he didn't like it. Nevertheless, he opened the door and headed straight for (y/n)'s cell.

Those two had one of the closest friendships within the Scout Regiment, and Levi witnessed how Hanji behaved differently around her. Around (y/n), she always let her guard down.

Maybe that was why she snapped at him.

Levi knew all too well how easily his guard fell when he was around (y/n). It was as if she influenced the people around her. Hanji, himself, even Erwin, all seemed different after spending time with her.

At first, Levi hated that feeling. She made it to where his emotions amplified by a thousand and he didn't know where his anger ended and his happiness started. Little by little, as he studied and got to know (y/n), how he looked at her and her way of being a soldier shifted. Still, Hanji snapping at him was proof that (y/n)'s way didn't work for everyone, especially if he were to keep being Humanity's Strongest.

As he walked to her cell, Levi was still wary of what she could do. Did she know how much she affected him? Did she know how scrambled she made his thoughts?

As he opened the door, the sight of her curled up in a wool blanket overpowered any negative emotions Hanji had stirred up. Levi felt the tension in his body melt away with a single deep breath. All the taxing questions that poisoned his mind seemed to leave every time he was alone with her. It was as if she were his escape, his personal calming essence. Levi wondered if that was how Hanji felt about her as well.

Closing the door behind him, Levi allowed for a small break of light so that he'd still be able to see. He sat down beside her, her back to his side. Months ago, he wouldn't have dared to get this close, but now, her soft touch was all he seemed to think about.

Ever since that night in Ermich, all Levi wanted to do was lay next to her again, to take in her smell and let himself warm her cold body. Now that he had the chance, he had no idea what to do first. She was asleep so there would be no talking but was probably for the best. Their last real conversation had almost ended in an argument because of his tendency to push others away. Knowing how he got around her, how she seemed to infiltrate his thoughts and challenge his beliefs, he was always scared of saying the wrong thing.

"Sab..."

(Y/n)'s mumbled voice sent a chill through Levi. He leaned down closer to her ear and asked, "Are you awake?"

There was no reply. Reluctantly, Levi crouched closer and placed his hand on her arm. His warm touch shot through her cold skin like a needle, causing her to jolt in her sleep. Levi jerked back, still staring at her face, mystified. Her eyes were fluttering, her brows furrowed together and twitching. This was nothing like Ermich, when she had been cozy and peaceful in his embrace.

'Is she having a nightmare?' Levi wondered.

He knew all too well about those. The majority of the time distorted images of slaughtered soldiers and unkind memories plagued his dreams. It had been so long since he had gotten a good nights rest.