BENEATH THE STARS

Answers

Chapter 06. Answers

It had been one whole day since Josh had moved to the apartment. It was comfortable and Josh had bought the grocery supplies for the week and now he was sitting on his bed in his room. He was thinking about the box his father had given him, about what he had said and about the letter he had read.

*flashback*

Josh had returned home after he had been with Kate and Drake. He had started to pack his stuff right away. He went to his brother's room to pick some of his stuff too. Since his brother had died, no one had touched his room. He took Philip's sweatshirt which reminded Josh of his presence. He hugged it close to his heart. He could still smell the scent of cologne which his brother used. He also took his brother's favorite toy car which rested on the nightstand along with a ring which Phil used to wear all the time. But it was not with Philip when he had died.

He headed back to his room and placed his brother's belongings in his bag. He had also taken his dairies. He had packed all of his stuff and was stacking the photo frames which had the pictures of the two brothers in the bag. At the exact moment there was a knock on the door and his father entered the room.

"I remember clicking that pic of you two on the beach. How happy were you then and now look at you. You are moving out I guess," he said approaching Josh.

Josh raised his hand as if to tell his father to stop where he was.
"What do you want dad? If you are here to tell me that you are not going to allow and stuff then I'm seriously not in the mood to argue. So please leave."

"Not for that. But I just wanted to tell you that if you need anything you should know that I am here. You are free to leave whenever you want Josh, you're 18 now."

"Why do you think that I'd want anything from you? What I wanted was you both to love me. I wanted you to be with me when Philip died. I wanted you to be the one to help me out of the sorrow. But what you did was keep me as I was, drowning in sorrow and pain. You want to disown me right? Well, here I'm ready to leave. Everything is happening just as you want it to. So why are you here dad? What else do you want me to do? Why do you want to tell me now that if I ever need anything you'll be there?," he had tears in his eyes but he didn't let them fall. He would never show anyone his tears.

"Son I'll explain everything, if you just give me a chance to. It is not as you think it is," his father said placing his hand on Josh's shoulder but Josh flinched. He could see the hurt in his father's eyes but he was not going to listen to any explanations, not now when he felt that everything was falling in place.

"Dad, please go. Go and don't come again. What's done is done. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I don't want anything from you guys. You don't even wanna call me your son, why are you even asking then? Leave it dad, I don't want any answers from you," he said and turned away.

"Fine son, but it was not me who said I don't want you as my son. I am a proud father, proud of you. I read the letter you received from NYIP. Take this," he said.

"I said I don't want anything from you dad. Get the hell outa here. Please," he said.

"This is not from me. Philip gave this to me to give you. Take it. I hope you get answers to some of your questions. Good luck son. Take care and" he broke off and went away keeping a huge box on Josh's bed.

Josh turned around to see the box and a letter over it. It was addressed to him and it was Philip's letter. He tore open the letter...

【○ You are reading this letter means that I am not alive anymore. No tears in your eyes Josh. I know it's hard without me by your side, with our parents fighting all the time. But everything has a reason buddy. There are reasons for what has been happening in our lives. I tried to find those and I did succeed. Whatever questions you have, each and every one is answered. There are a total of 12 letters excluding this one. You know, they are easy to find but they hurt like hell. When and only when you are ready for the answers then only open the box. It's quite confusing for you I know, why would I do something like this but that's a question and the answer is in the box. This is just the letter to tell you, don't worry. I'll always be here (in your heart). No matter what you'll always have your brother. I always have tried to protect you from every single danger but here on I'll not be able to. So take care of yourself. Find love around you to help you get out of the mess you're in. Love Josh. That's the only thing that helped me move on and I know it'll help you too. Cuz, 'To love is not to destroy, and to be loved by someone is not to be the one destroyed.' Remember, I used to read you the Shadowhunters books which you didn't like much!!! But those were close to my heart and so you listened when I read. They taught me lot than what life taught me. They were like the parents we never had. That's what books do to you. Fill the gap in your heart. This is going so off the topic, Sorry.
So don't forget to love Josh and don't ever think of suicide and stuff. I'll come down from heaven and kick your ass. Stay alive for me, to do things that I couldn't. And if you need anything dad is always gonna be there. I love you Josh and so does he. Don't push him away. He's a good father and he wants to support your photography. In fact he was the one who suggested me to make you enrol for the NYIP scholarship. Well, if you've won it congratulations. Be a very amazing photographer and make me proud. All my best wishes are with you lil bro. Love ya.○】

Josh had tears in his eyes but this time he didn't let them fall for Philip. He needed answers. He wanted someone to tell him what exactly was going on in his life. But not now, Josh thought. He couldn't open the box right now nor could he stay here for another second. He needed to go. If he saw his father another time he wouldn't be able to leave, he knew. He grabbed his bags and went off never thinking if he'd return or not.

*end of flashback *

And now Josh was thinking whether what he had done was right or not. He had not touched the box, well also his belongings. He was just sitting, thinking and drinking tea. He got up, took his phone and went over to the kitchen. He put his playlist on shuffle and started making another cup of tea. He loved drinking tea. It gave him all energy that he needed to think.

He had gone to the library and had taken cookies as suggested by Drake. The owner, an old lady Mrs. Jogers who was indeed very kind, accepted Josh to work in for the place of the guy who had left. It was good working in peace and silence. Keeping books in place according to alphabetical order and writing down the list of books which the readers wanted. His first day was quite good. Today the library was closed for Sunday. From tomorrow Josh would have to attend college and then work in the library. The shifts matched. He had his with Kate and Drake's was the one after them.

Finally he was going to start a life of his own with answers to his questions. He was not ready to look for them now but he would be, soon he knew. He took his cup of tea and went over to the couch in the living room. He was just about to take a sip when the knob of the front door turned and in came a huge boy, masked with a helmet on his head and a bag pack on his right shoulder. He threw the bag beside Josh which made Josh jump a bit. The guy stared at Josh, took the tea from his hand and drank it in one gulp.

That's what Josh had been wondering. How can everything in HIS life be happening so well, even for a span of a day!! Well, here was what he was waiting for. Another question... which did not have any answer right now.

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Hey guyss!!!

I hope you liked the chapter!!

----- Blackwood Heronstairs;)