BENEATH THE STARS

Words of Pain

When Josh woke up the next morning Kate was asleep beside him, holding his arm. He had thought last night about what she'd said. He got up gently removing his arm from her grip.

Kate had said to find a job and a place to live. He thought how he was going to do this all on his own. He had never thought that he'd move out and would have to find a place to live, but now he'd no choice left.

He found himself pacing round the tree. Not wanting to wake up Kate, he decided to walk around. She was just as lonely as he was. Finally someone who shared the same pain he thought. But his thoughts seemed to go back to one question- What was he going to do? Finding a job was not that easy, but he'd work anywhere if he could earn money to afford a living, at least for worth a day. But he was definitely not going to live with his parents anymore.

He saw Kate getting up and... Walking, not exactly, running towards... the cliff end. He knew exactly what she was thinking quite obviously... if he'd jumped down. He went over to her and tapped on her shoulder.

"Looking for me?" he asked smiling.

"Whoa!! For a second I thought you'd jumped down. Where were you?"

"I was just thinking, you know, about what you said last night. All about moving out and stuff. I guess I'm gonna take some time before I decide what to do."

"Yeah about that, I said what I felt was right at that moment but I guess you should probably talk to your parents before you decide anything."

"I'll try."

"Um- if you need anything I can always help you."

"Thanks Kate, if not for you I'd have jumped down last night. I'll always be grateful for that."

"Hey no... it's not a big deal. You know, when I found that I didn't want to die so soon, I've been helping people know how precious life is. So it's not a problem," she said.

"Well I guess you should get going... you've to do a lot of thinking I suppose. We'll meet here tonight."

"Yeah. See you tonight."

Josh set off towards his home thinking about all what had happened in the past 24 hours. He reached home finding himself heading towards his brother's room. He missed him now more than ever. He thought if his brother would have been here, he would have definitely helped him out.

He was sitting on his brother's bed when a pile of books, no dairies in the shelf caught his attention. He'd never seen those. He got down from the bed and went over to the shelf. He opened the first one,

【○Hey... I am Phil... that's what my lil brother calls me;) So this being my 3rd dairy I'd like to start by writing- Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary.
So about 2day, my day was pretty good well until I came home. Actually coming home everyday and listening to my parent's bickering has become a daily thing. It's always the same... The one thing that cheers me up when at home is Josh. I can never thank God for sending me this beautiful, innocent brother. He's the one who gives me hope to start every day with new enthusiasm. He and his smile.....○】

Josh never knew his brother wrote dairies. He took all of his brother's dairies and sat on his bed. He started with the first one. It was when Philip was 12. That's a long time ago Josh thought...

【○Hello... I'm Philip. And this is my first dairy. I don't even know if I'll write this till the end, but still this is the first. My friend Marge told me that writing dairy helps relieve stress. I don't have any stress but my Mom and Dad keep fighting with each other whenever I'm home and I don't like that so I thought writing about it will help me. They keep on fighting though they know my little Josh is at home. He must have heard them too but he will never say anything about it. I know him, he's afraid of them fighting. He comes to my room every night and sleeps next to me hugging me tightly when their voices grow loud. And I protect him... I'll always protect him. He's so small and innocent. He doesn't deserve this......○】

Josh's eyes were filled with tears. He did remember sleeping nights next to his brother. He kept on reading. What he read made him very angry. His grip on the sheets below him became tighter with every single word he read making his knuckles turn white. He couldn't believe that he didn't know any of these things.

With every page his anger grew until he punched his hand hard on the wall, making it bleed. He didn't care. He kept on reading till he completed each dairy. He had read each and every word in those 10 dairies. He felt so bad for not knowing his brother's life and also happy that he was the one making it easy for his brother. It hurt him how less he knew his brother.

And it hurt him even more that his brother had never shared this with him. He knew it was because Philip always wanted to protect him but just thinking how much he had faced hurt him. And all this was because of their parents.

He had made his decision. It was final. No one could stop him from doing it. He glanced at the clock on the night stand. It was almost 7.30 in the evening. He had totally forgotten about lunch, not that he cared. He remembered Kate's words. She'd said that she could help him and there was no one he could think of at that moment.

He quickly got up from the bed taking his brother's dairies, much like his brother's nightmares and headed towards his own room. He placed the pile on his nightstand and went downstairs. Much to his relief his parents were not at home.

He went to the kitchen and found the first aid kit sitting on the counter top at its usual place. He cleaned his hand and dressed it. He picked up two apples from the basket and went back to his room. He ate those while thinking what he'd tell Kate. He thought she'd helped him without even knowing who he was but at the same time he too didn't know who she was.

Could he trust her? Was he doing the right thing? Thinking about it he didn't realize when he fell asleep, waking up to notice that it was 10 and that he had to meet up Kate on the cliff. He rushed out from his house towards the cliff wondering what Kate would say and if she'd help him.

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Hey guyss!!!

Second chapter done too!!! We have a long way to go...

Tell me how you guys like this chapter...

------- Blackwood Heronstairs.