Peffron: A Love Story

We Want You

Finally, after all of the embarrassment so far, we have reached the library. We walk into the parking lot, and decide to go straight outside. However, I'm still not completely convinced my reign of embarrassment is over, and so whenever I walk, I make sure to look around first.

We reach the rocks, and I hop nimbly over them (take note that the use of "nimbly" used above is highly sarcastic and not meant to be taken literally). I reach my rock and sit down, and wait for the others to get their butts over here. Of course, like five people decide to sit on my rock with me when there are a ton of rocks to sit on, and so I sigh and move.

Joses Crust is the first to speak. "So guys, we made it!"

OF responds. "Woohoo!"

"What now?" I ask.

"I dunno," Dipshit adds in, extremely helpfully.

I give up on the conversation for a while and zone out for a bit, my eyes losing focus, but then, out of the corner of my eye, I spot movement. My first (very intelligent) thought was: are the rocks moving? before I realized that it was a crap ton of hermit crabs.

OF exclaims, "My people!!"

I shift uncomfortably, the last time I met a hermit crab, it didn't go too well. I make sure to be careful, and watch them come closer and closer.

At the same time, Bob and Joses Crust ask, "What are they doing? What's happening?"

Sneaky Snake watches all of this with a smirk on his sneaky face. I wonder why he could possibly be smirking, and when my curiosity finally gets the better of me, I ask him.

"Oh? Me? Smirking? No, there's no reason. I just like smirking," he says and continues to smirk.

"Okay then...." I respond. How are these people my friends?

With a menacing scuttling sound, the hermit crabs are now upon us. (Haha the crabs are upon us. STD joke, real classy).

They stop moving, and both groups stare at one another; the humans and the hermit crabs. Finally, Dipshit says, "OF, you can speak hermit crab right? Try asking them what they want."

She nods in agreement and turns to the hermit crabs. "Nya clu sa chi nuuuuuu?" She says.

Then silence. The hermit crabs don't seem to understand. OF sighs and stands up. Reluctantly, she starts to dance like a chicken while head banging and saying, "pa ki kula ni waaaaaa."

The rest of us try to avoid laughing too loudly at this beautiful sight. Long story short, we failed miserably.

However, it seems to work. The hermit crabs turn to chatter amongst themselves and finally turn to OF. "Ru ki ona wini wani woo," they say.

We wait expectantly for a translation from OF. "We want you," she repeats back to us.