Peffron: A Love Story

Chapter 4: A Surprising Twist!

Why must my life always be so complicated? Couldn't I just marry my one true love and live happily forever after? But no, apparently my one true love is a dirty, good for nothing, cheating bastard!

And of all people, why did he cheat on me with my friends? That really makes me wonder, how many other people has he cheated on me with?

I shake my head, because I don't even want to think about how large that number is.

Then I realize that OF is still staring at me, waiting for my response.

"Well," is all I manage to get out.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know..." She says.

I nod, and not able to contain the despair I felt, I turned and walked away.

***

After school that day, we were all walking down to the library together. (TF, OF, some other person who is just a side character and doesn't have a name, and me).

I felt that it was really awkward, since we (besides the side character that doesn't have a name) were all married to the same hermit crab.

What are the odds of that? There are so many other hermit crabs, and Peffron's MINE! Or so I thought.

"Oh yeah, since we're all married to Peffron," TF says in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"Yeah?" I say sulkily. I'm still mad at her for making sweet love with my husband, even though she didn't know he was my husband. That hermit crab sure is sneaky.

"Well," puts in OF. "Ummm... I don't really know how to say this... But..."

"What?" I say, despairing.

Whenever I discuss Peffron with anyone and they pause dramatically before finishing their sentences, it always promises bad news, and I anxiously wait for her to finish.

"I'm Peffron," She finally finishes.

"WHAT?!" TF and I cry in harmony.

"Yeah..." She says.

My first reaction is to slap her.

"YOU CHEATING BASTARD! YOU WERE MY FIRST LOVE, AND YOU BROKE MY HEART. TWO TIMES!" I scream at her, voicing all the thoughts I had when I found out Peffron cheated on me.

She doesn't do anything or try to defend herself. She just takes the slap.

My mind is whirling now. Peffron is a hermit crab. She's a human. (Supposedly). This defies all laws of physics!

But the weirdest part for me is the fact that I was married to her! Ewwwwwwwww!

And she was married to herself? What the hell? Talk about narcissistic!

After another thought comes to my mind, I start to laugh uncontrollably.

"What?" OF asks.

"Well," I laugh, and then try to continue. "TF made sweet love with you!"