One Last Prayer

Part 6

The breeze on the beach makes up for the hot sun hitting my back. I'm pushing the sand back and forth through my fingertips, with my chin resting on my knees as I take a few moments of silence to appreciate God's blessings. "You know. Religion is the only thing we fight about." My mom says over the sound of the waves. I lean my cheek on my knee now, to look at her sitting next to me. "But I was sixteen and I was pregnant with you. And I thought, 'Hey, if he loves God, even if he's insanely religious, I can appreciate that.' But I promised he could raise you in the church, and that I wouldn't argue about the rules of Christianity." I half smiled at her and closed my eyes, listening to my own breathing. I was grateful that my mom let my dad take over the role of religion in our home. "Thank you." I whispered. She put her hand on my head, stroking my hair. "As long as you know that there's a God. And you don't fear living your life because of religion." I didn't voice my curiosity of what that meant to her. I simply nodded, my eyes opening to look at her again. She looked away back to the never ending ocean in front of us. "People shouldn't be afraid of failure. Our God is all forgiving. Your Aunt Jean prayed for so long, for God to help her to stop loving another woman. He never helped her. But maybe he didn't feel like he needed to. Maybe he knew she loved him, and that was enough for him. But then she ended her life, and your grandparents made me believe she would be in Hell because of that. How is that right?" I stayed silent, figuring she wasn't actually expecting an answer. She sighed quietly before looking back at me. "Don't be afraid to live, Riley. Please know that God, in any religion, in any world, loves you." I nodded at that, knowing that I felt safe where I was. Whatever book it was, God was still God.

The alarm is so loud on my cell phone. Is that my alarm? I reach over when I realize it's text after text coming in. When my hand doesn't touch it on the bed side table I reach a little further. I overestimate how much I can stretch to get it and fall off the bed to the floor. I groan sitting up as I pout and grab the stupid phone looking around my dark room. I must've fallen asleep reading. When I see it's 11 PM I quickly switch my phone to vibrate in the off chance my dad will hear it from the other side of the house. I've never had to worry about people contacting me so late before, but this year is one surprise after another.

I turn on the screen to see "Tessa+6." A group message. I glance at who is in it before opening the thread. Tessa, Brielle, Tracy, and a few numbers I don't recognize. I rub my eyes and open the messages.

Tessa: I can't sleep let's all meet at the beach by the playground

Tracy: Can't tonight, my parent's r up still.

Unknown number 1: I'll be there. Let me put clothes on.

Tessa: Riley? R U up?

Unknown number 2: Light's on in her room! I think I'm in for the night tho.

My jaw drops and I stand up looking out my window to see one window across the street with a light on. I guess I know which number is Chase's, so I go ahead and save it.

Me: Um. Can't.

Tessa: RILEY. Live a little. You won't get caught. Go out your window.

Chase: She's a good girl, she won't go.

Unknown number: Don't be mean to my bitty Riley! She's just too cool for us.

Now I know who that is. There's only one person that always calls me his, and mentions my size at the same time. Trey. I roll my eyes and save his number as well.

Brielle: Both of you fuck off. Ry, are u down?

I look around my room. Walking to my bedroom door I peak my head out and look around the dark house. My dad is always fast asleep no later than 10. I close the door and lean against it. Am I really even thinking about this? I've never done anything to break any rules in my life. I'm so tired of feeling caged and restricted, though. It has been nice for even two days, to feel like I have friends for once. I look at my phone one more time.