Thankfully, the lunch meeting was finished without me exploding and cut off her tongue.
Why am I annoyed?
I stared at the ceiling at my bedroom. Throwing dagger looks to the pitiful white ceiling. I layed horizontally at my bed. That meeting feels like I've been through numerous practice for the whole week.
Surely, it was progresive meeting. We've discussed every little details about the construction of the house.
She might annoy me for a certain reason but I can't deny that she's very dedicated to her work. Even the slightest details she take note of that. She's very detailed and efficient. She's annoyingly perfect for the job. And Joong-
She'd be a perfect match for him. They'd make a perfect couple if they decides to be together, as if there not together already.
My insecurities are eating me up again.
I thought destiny's giving me chance to be with him but this event open up my eyes to the reality. Destiny and cupid conspired together in cooking Joong Archen's lovelife without me in the picture. I really thought its my chance to win him but destiny's slapping me the harsh reality. He will never be mine. Not in a thousand years.
Destiny sucks.
A tear escape my eyes just by a mere thought of him in the arms of other girl. Not just a random girl but a girl who is equal to him. A good background, has a decent family, properly educated, has a stable job and most of all a woman who can bear a child.
Who Am I kidding? As if that guy will fall for me.
I just let it out and cried my heart out. For years, I'm holding these tears even when I clearly see his flirting with girls.
He's popular way back in college. Girls plock there feet into him, and his loving it all. Not just once I've seen him flirting with girls but a couple of times.
There's this incident in a restaurant where he's obviously flirting with the girl in front of the males comfort room .
"Excuse me, You're flirting at the wrong place." I said, as I approach them.
I just can't ignore them there freaking flirting in front of the males comfort room! I'll just shrug it of and excuse myself if its not him.
But this heart doesn't want me to just shrug it of. My head instantly follows even my sub conscious tells me the opposite.
"Where's the exact place to flirt?" He asked back. Looking annoyed,
Why? Cause I interrupted you? I don't want to do this but this heart is as hard as rock! I always tell myself to just move on and forget this sickening one sided love. But I just can't.
I looked at him furiously, the jerk's smirking!
"I don't know! Just get a f*cking hotel!" I shouted at him and walk away. I just can't take that anymore. It suffocates me.
"Jerk." I said, He's a jerk! How dare him hurt me like this?
Bitterness spread through me. One sided love is dangerous. It will hurt you without even trying. But its the essence of love right? Like a rose before you could get the beauty you need to be pricked by its thorns.
Nine are you stupid? You can't understand the word one-sided? It means he will never be yours. Without the help of Pavel, I doubt if he will notice your existence. You can't get the roses because someone already has it. You are meant to get pricked but not getting the rose.
It sad but true.
Clutching at the duvet, I curled up and endured the throbbing heart. Let's just sleep tomorrow is another day.
