I hate people who bring others down. Im insecure about myself yet i dont bring others down. I lift them up even when im down. My friends dont see my struggle. They believe im confident in my body. Im skinny, have long hair, nice body, big butt.
I dont see any of that. I think im a little overweight, my butt is too big for my 5'2 frame, and my hair is too wavy and dry.
Im envious of those who are confident about themselves.
Ill have my moments when i zone out. When i come back my friends ask if im okay because i have a sad expression.
I would go into deep thought and usually those thoughts bring back bad memories that i wish to forget.
Thinking for me is like bringing pain ad insecurities. Ill say yes to being okay. They know im not and dont push the subject.
Im happy for that they dont push yet other times i want them too. I hate talking yet sometimes its the best way for me to vent. I dont want to talk about these painful things.
I wish for it to go away yet it doesnt. I go to sleep then wake up from the startling nightmares. I been happy a lot then people set me off and my day just consists of me being upset.
My friend Papaya has a friend and at first i thought she was cool. Then i realized she is like an insecure bully. She judged my outfit monday and i laughed it off pretending it didnt hurt. It brought back my insecurities. She hates my friend for no reason.
When it comes to the people i care about i am very defensive. (If you reading this papaya i wont hesitate if she starts more rumors of jhayde or anyone else. Ik she is your friend thats why im going to keep my distance. She says one more thing i dont like i will not stand for it. I will do something whether you like it or not)
She starts rumors and i hate them. The rumor wasnt even true. In middle school someone started a rumor that i was a slut which isnt even true because i have never had a boyfriend or a kiss or anything else. Rumors are mean and hurtful and they always change to something worse.
A girl punched another in the boob and said breast cancer. I dont like that because my best friend's mom died of breast cancer and some of my family has too. It just shows that people are ignorant and assholes.
That girl who starts rumors does that too and finds it funny. It just made me hate her more. I will tolerant somethings but not that. She doesnt care for peoples feelings and that is just mean and rude.
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I just needed to rant. These are really thouchy subjects for me.this is a super great song.
Goodbye my skittles.
YOU ARE READING
TEARS
Acakthe pain inside is ripping me apart. i hold it in wishing and wanting it to come out. its taking control of my mind soul and body. i let it consume my being as i fall into the abyss of depression. this story is about how i feel and what is going on...
