Got in a fight with my mom. I want to cry but i dont want to cry infront of anyone. I was better but now i feel awful again. My mom was raging about how i was a bitch and inconsiderate. I had just said that it irritates me when she always thinks im afraid of doing something. Why can she never believe in me? I truly dont understand why people put up with me. Im not worth it. My mom makes it known to me all the time. I broke down crying when i was in the shower but even then i stopped myself from releasing all my pain. I deserve it. Do i? Yes. I look at myself and cringe. To my mom, my hair is ugly unless i do something with it, my face is ugly because i have a few pimples, im too fat to be a gymnast. She told me this all today. I see a needle and am tempted to cut. To punish myself with pain. Wanting to see those cuts turn to scars later on. To remember what i am. To know. I deserve it. Im lost and confused. Why? Do i really need to punish myself? I believe so. I still walk away and try not to think back. My skin doesnt have any new cuts. I sink down against my bed and hold back the tears. Why am i so weak? I think it over. Frustrated and upset over everything. Goodbye people.
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TEARS
Randomthe pain inside is ripping me apart. i hold it in wishing and wanting it to come out. its taking control of my mind soul and body. i let it consume my being as i fall into the abyss of depression. this story is about how i feel and what is going on...
