Blue And Grey [COMPLETED] • mistikenigma

Prologue

TRIGGER WARNING
This content might include graphic references to topics such as sexual abuse, self-harm, violence, eating disorders, and so on, and can take the form of an image or piece of text.

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Prologue

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I've never heard strangers calling me a disappointment. I've never heard my friends calling me useless. I've never heard my acquaintances calling me unknown. I've never heard anyone calling me names but my family.

When I was a kid, they used to like me so much because of the attention I got. People look up to me because I was pretty, I got a lot of compliments. But shit really happens. I was rushed into hospital a lot of times when I started school. I became thin and I felt so insecure of kids who can do anything.

Growing up, I've never felt the happiness of playing outside, running under the sun or even the rain. I wanted to play pero kaunting sigaw ko lang dito sa kalsada ay pauuwiin na ako at papatulugin. My family never hurt me, well atleast, not physically, isang beses lang. I remember my father hitting me on my jaw just because I talked back. I got no regrets tho, at least my grade five self knew how to fight when she's done with everything that's happening.

Since I knew I was a disappointment for being so weak, I focus on studying. I drained myself to study hard, maybe in that way, I will avoid being useless.

When I entered high school, I never felt any pressure. Not until I started to get rank one in every grading period. I'm happy, sheez, for years of being a disappointment, I finally found a place!

And I got lost again. I thought the younger me was so strong to pass all the judgements. She's so strong. Imagine, in the age of nine to eleven, I survived all the judgements from my family. I survived being weak.

I just woke up one day, at the age of thirteen, the demon inside me is way more stronger than before. The demon inside my head talks a lot and louder than before. I fed him with flattering words and fruitful thoughts from people that when my downfall came, he grew and ate me instead.

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STARTED: DECEMBER 31, 2020

NOTE: I won't be changing the number of words in every chapters. Para may paalala lang ako sa sarili ko na ganoon iyong dating word count ng chapters. This is still under editing until mawala iyong [EDITING] na nakasulat sa title. Maraming Salamat Po!