☆☆☆ Chapter 53 ☆☆☆
Spiralling Traffic
I blinked for a moment and took in my surroundings. There were walls on either side of me with pretty portraits of god knows what and soft lights glued to the ceiling way above me. Two menservants passed by. One nudged the other and winked as they did so. And somewhere close, really, really close, I heard forks screech against plates. Dining room. I'm steps away from it, aren't I? Steps away from my in-law and her runaway husband. My in-laws. And Joel and Hilery. Nutjobs. Monsters. Demons. Brat. Gun, gunpoint. Death, not. And Daniel. Sweet, kind, passionate, clingy, and──
"Alright. We have to go in now. I'll stop them from talking to you, okay?" Teresa's fingers were entwined with mine. Like her. Her thumb rubbed the back of my hand. Yes, just like her, yes. "You'll be alright Ane. I promise. I won't let go of you." Into both.
"He's into both, attracted to both. Those of his own gender and those who aren't. Both ways, both! Can you fuckin' believe it? And you're like him. And he's like you. Stupid, stupid me. I read it all Teresa, I read it all in his cute little teensy cursive. I saw the toys. He told me, Tess. He told me a-and I don't know what to do. Stupid, I'm fuckin' stupid. And what the heck am I feelin' I... 'n I know I shouldn't feel this way but... fuck, I fuckin' hate reading... my angel, he's... "
Gone? No. Shut up.
"Ane, sit down. Let's have some tea. Right now. Sit the hell down. Down, I said! Dinner can wait. Isn't this what you wanted?" No. Yes! ...No? "First of all... "
Her dark eyes were onto me and my ringing ears, but it didn't matter, not in the frickin' slightest, 'cuz whether I liked it or not I was already in the room by the time my lips tried to give her any sort of response. My head had nodded a long time ago (god knows when really), thinkin' that I was brave and calm and she was way too hungry to not let it slide.
" ...and you can talk things through with him, maybe it can help you, maybe it won't, but you need to understand that the world doesn't revolve around you. That includes his sexual orientation. This is really personal. So don't put him on the spot. He needs to be comfortable with having an open conversation like that, don't you even dare... "
Breathe in, Imani Ane. Breathe out. Count... Count from one to five. One, two, three, four... There's five heads in the dining room. Five. Five. Teresa. Six. Six. Me. Seven. Seven. It's alright, it's alright. No. In the room, there are demons playing the role of normal people. Demons that batted an eye at hurting me and themselves in whatever way possible with bright, fake smiles on their faces. They're acting as if nothing happened. But it's all good, it's all good.
No. No it's not. Aren't you one of them anyway? A sick demonic monster? Take a good look at yourself before sayin' shit.
My heartbeats pounded on my eardrums, threatened to make my ears bleed. Every beat was loud and deafening and biting the insides of my cheeks did nothing but make it worse. So much worse.
Count from one to five... one to five...
A squeeze. No, two... at the same time?!
I turned my head to the side and once again saw Teresa's eyes on me. They were wide and looking right at me. They asked if I was alright. Obviously I was, but her squeeze told me otherwise. I traced circles on her hand with my thumb and forced a helping of salmon down my throat to not have to make myself say a single thing.
"Thank you for confiding in me, Ane."
And then I felt another squeeze. It wasn't her. Under the table. On my thigh. Daniel. His pale, nervous face was on my other side, dreading the answer to the question his own pair of eyes had asked. 'No, I don't wanna leave. It's all good,' I told them, with every fiber of my being. Something in Daniel didn't let him take my answer seriously. His Ane-antenna or somethin'. He scooted himself closer to me, so close that there was hardly any space left in between us, and reached for my thigh again. This time he didn't squeeze, he caressed. The way his petal-soft palm worked its way up and down my skin let my mind have a few moments to itself. It was slow, gentle. Soothing. In its every movement, there was grace.
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