With You - sapnap x reader

.22

A/n- I'm gonna try to not do as many authors notes any more cause I feel like it gets in the way haha but i just like talking;-; anyways the main reason I making this one is because I think many of y'all were confused or thought that was the last chapter;-; it definitely wasn't I think I'd cry if I left it off right there haha but yeah there's so many more things I'd like to do with this story so yeah here's .22

-Nicks p.o.v-
I didn't expect tonight to happen at all but I'm glad with the way in ended, that seems like a bad thing I mean I'm definitely mad that she didn't tell me but at the same time I'm not mad at her because she deserves more than what she had and I'm glad she sees that with me. I feel her chest rising slowly and her breathing calmer than it was before, I just feel the need to always be here with her now and I feel so creepy about it but I just want to protect her from anything and everything. She's already learned the harms of things and took it in her own way but now I think it's time for her to learn the good in life and what she can make of it. Now that I can think of it, when did she last do it? And why? I don't want to be pushy with her cause I don't want her to feel like she doesn't have any kind of choice I just don't want her to hurt anymore. She's asleep and has the slightest smile on her face, god she's so beautiful... she's everything I've ever needed and I really feel complete with her. I tear up thinking about everything with her. I don't want the future to come anytime soon, not that I'm scared cause I'm definitely not just I like having this time with her as of right now and especially when she's sleeping. I stay up late some nights planning out tomorrow and what I can do just to see a smile on her face, god that smile... I'd do anything for her to smile constantly. I probably sound creepy but she's just worth it, everything for her? It's worth it.. right? What am I saying she tried her hardest already and that all I could even ask for from her. I'm so proud of her, she's pushed through so many challenges and now she's here, underneath me, sound asleep. But does she feel the same way I do? Is she taking this as seriously as I do? What if I'm not giving her enough? I'm not full sobbing but I'm definitely crying just quietly and softly to myself, why? Don't ask me anymore it's my thoughts now. I hope tomorrow is just calm and chill even though every day has been already I just want to be alone with her.
Don't get me wrong I love being here with Clay and George but she needs it more than ever, a cuddle day sounds nice and maybe even a cry a bit but that's okay. I twist my head to find my phone and read the clock, 12:37am, ughh how long is this night gonna last. Do I try to sleep and stay with her a bit more, not that she knows I'm awake or anything but I like being with her and taking in time to ourselves. I open my phone and try to turn my brightness down as quickly as possible so it doesn't wake her and then go to messages. I tell Clay and George, "me and y/n are just gonna chill in bed today", maybe we won't get bothered. Y/n started to move a bit and get agitated so I lifted my head up and she turn over on her side, I was still in between her thighs with my head on her chest but now on my side, her breathing picked up a bit and then her eyes opened, shit.
Y/n- "babyyy, what are you doing up" she said quietly
N- "I couldn't sleep so I got on my phone, I'm sorry I woke you"
Y/n- "mmm it's okay, you could've told me you weren't tired... I would've stayed up with you."
N- "it's okay, i wanted time alone" fuck that sounds bad, she looked down at me fully awake now.
Y/n- "you could've told me to sleep on the couch, I don't mind" she started to get up and slip out from where she was laying, I grabbed her legs and held them down so she couldn't move in hopes she gets the hint.
N- "no that's not what I meant hon.. I wanted time with just me and you but... I- you- I stayed up thinking, to myself, about stuff, with you, god i sound like a fool"
I looked at her and she smiled a bit
Y/n- "oh okay, so you want me to stay?"
N- "please.." my voice got caught off by a choke
She payed attention to me now and cupped my cheeks
Y/n- "Nick, what's wrong" god that voice, I melt for that sweet voice and then I broke down. She held me tight, her warmth it feels like I can feel all of her love radiating off of her.
N- "please, please, please... I don't want to lose you, i can't stand the thought of it y/n, it hurts. You mean everything to me, you're worth so much to me, I hate the thought of waking up and you not being there in my arms" I was violently sobbing now, I feel stupid but I can't stop it.
Y/n- "oh baby.. I love you so much... Please, don't think about that. It's hard not to i get it but you're all I need, you'll be my first and last for everything. I promise." She kissed my head and talked into my hair, she brushed through it and i felt calmer than I did earlier.
I nodded my head and did my best to calm down my breathing which worked but I still was sniffing. I've never felt more comfortable crying with someone than I do her.
Shit i forgot to say it back.
N- "I love you more beautiful" my voice sounds so weak and babyish
She tilted my head back and leaned down to kiss me, that's what needed. I'd be lying if I said I still don't get nervous when I kiss her, how could you not!
My head get sweaty and I get nervous looking at her.
I tried to make the kiss last longer but stupid air gets in the way of my love. I pull away and smile at her then squeeze her with my arms, I felt her thighs squeeze my sides making me chuckle a bit. I felt my eyes get heavier by the second
N- "mmm, goodnight love"
Y/n- "hehe, goodnight sweetheart"
She kissed the top of my head leaving me and my body to heat up but not for long till I finally went to sleep.

A/n- holy shit, my mom just pointed out how my book is in some of the top placed on the hashtags;-; I love you all so much holy shit. <3 ALSO HAPPY NEW YEARS TURN TF UP FOR ME!!