Save me

Terrifying news

Rachel
Tomorrow is the wedding and things couldn't be worse. Brody kept true to his word and hasn't let me leave the house at all, he and Kurt planned the wedding and he's insisted to all my friends that I'm sick and trying to get better for the wedding.

Luckily, he hasn't laid a hand on Chris but I'm still terrified that he will do so which is why I'm trying to be on my best behaviour. It's a hard thing to do seeing as though it's impossible to tell what Brody is thinking and being able to decipher what's right and wrong but I can at least try.

If something happened to Chris because of me I don't know what I'd do.

Everyone's stopped by to try and see me, but Brody would make up some excuse and when he wasn't in the house then I'd pretend not to hear the door. This is best for everyone. The next time I see them all, I'll be stood at the alter and it will be too late for them to do anything.

I don't know if Finn has showed up and I also don't know what he's feeling, he'll definitely know that the wedding is still going seeing as Kurt will have them all helping but I hate to think about what he thinks of me now.

Does he hate me? Is he heartbroken? Does he feel the way I felt when I thought he cheated?

I'm broken out of my thoughts as I have to run to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach, it's been happening a lot over the past couple of weeks and I have no idea why.

"What's wrong mama?" The voice of my little angel asks as I stay knelt over the toilet.

"Mama just feels a little sick" I reply, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably.

He stands beside me and rubs my back gently, I'd honestly find it the most adorable thing in the world if my head wasn't in a toilet.

"Does this help mommy? It helps when you do it when I'm sick" he asks sweetly.

"It helps a lot, thank you baby" I reply, leaning against the wall to get my breath back.

"Why are you marrying Brody and not daddy?" He asks after a few minutes, stumbling on the word 'marrying' even though it's obvious what he means.

"I have to baby" I whisper, I hope he understands one day because disappointing him is one of the worst feelings in the world.

"But what about daddy?"

"I love your daddy" I tell him softly. "I love your daddy so much, you'll understand when you're older"

My words effectively finish the conversation because I stand up and begin to brush my teeth, not being able to take much more of it. Luckily, Kurt insisted that Brody and I stay apart the day before the wedding so he's at his brothers whilst I'm at the house with Chris.

"Mama, I'm hungry" Chris whines, entering my bedroom.

"What would you like?" I ask, lifting him up and carrying him into the kitchen where I sit him on the counter.

He's broken out of his thoughts by the doorbell and before I can say anything, he scrambles out of his seat and runs over to open it. For a five year old he is ridiculously fast.

On the other side is Santana, holding up a McDonald's bag which makes Chris' face light up. I haven't seen her since she accused Brody of abuse and she's wearing a small smile on her face.

However, the smell of the food makes my stomach churn for some bizarre reason and I find myself having to run towards the bathroom again. I realise that after a few minutes, Santana has joined me and is holding my hair back soothingly.

"Chris said that's been happening a lot recently" she states as she hands me a glass of water.

"Yeah" I reply hoarsely.