Save me

Facing demons

Rachel

Do you think that Chris could stay at your place tonight? Somethings come up -Rachel

I text Santana and I really hope she says yes, Brody hasn't said a word to me since the article was published and he gets back today and him being quiet means I know he's furious and I don't want Chris to be here for that.

I'm so sorry Rach, Puck and I are going to watch the yankees in the playoffs, we've had those tickets booked for weeks :( -San

Could you ask Finn if he'll keep him an extra night? -Rachel

I think you should, it's been a year you're going to have to talk to him at some point. May as well be now, maybe you'll get closure even though you guys are totally in love -San

I don't want closure I want childcare -Rachel

She didn't reply to my message so I throw my phone onto the couch and sigh. I blocked and deleted his number so the only way that I can talk to him is in person, and because I'm so desperate it's what I'm going to have to do.

I pack Chris an extra pair of pyjamas and a change of clothes for tomorrow and I reluctantly leave the house. I get into my car and drive over to Finn's. I've actually come a few times, I used to stand outside the apartment and try and build up the courage to go in. I don't know what I'd have done or said but I never had the courage to do anything.

I arrive and sit in the car for what seems like eternity until I finally have the courage to go. This will be the first time I see his face or hear his voice in a whole year and I'm terrified that it's going to break me. But I have to do this, if I don't Chris could get caught up in Brody's punishment and see something that I don't want him to see.

I grab Chris' bag and slowly walk up the stairs until I reach his place. I knock on the door timidly and as I'm finally realising that this is a bad idea and that I should go, the door opens and there he is. He looks even better if that's even possible, his beautiful features are clearly shocked by my presence. But the one thing I can't get over is how he's still looking at me the same way, I realise we've just been staring at each other for a while so I clear my throat and break the eye contact.

"W-what are you doing here?" He asked softly, even though I'm not looking at his face directly I can feel him practically burning through me with his gaze.

"I um, Santana and Puck are at a game and I need you to have Chris for an extra day. I-I don't have your number so...yeah" I mumbled.

Finn
"Yeah I can have him, is everything okay?" I know I'm in no position to ask but she seems stressed, I just hope it's not because she's in my presence.

She looks even more beautiful if that was possible but I know her better than anyone, and I know she's going through a lot. I just wish I could help her, but the truth is I'm probably the cause of it.

"Yeah it's fine, something came up" she answers briefly. "I um- I bought some of his things" she says as she hands me the bag. Our hands graze and she jumps back at the revelation and snatched her hand away.

"Can I see him for a minute?" She asked and I nodded and opened the door wider as she stepped in.

"Chris, come here a second buddy" I shout out and he comes running in, his face lights up when he sees Rachel and he jumps into her arms as she lifts him up and kisses his cheek.

"Mommy, you and daddy are in the same place! Let's go for ice cream, or bowling, or the movies!" He shouts excitedly as I look to her sadly, she was looking at me with the same expression before she looked away quickly.