The planets bend between us

Chapter 28

Emily watched the team talk interact in the middle of dinner. She couldn't help but feel happy. She watched her girlfriend geek out about Dostoevsky animatedly with Reid. She watched Garcia and Derek chat about how they would change the house and make it the ultimate party house. She watched Hotch talk to Rossi about what he was planning on getting his son for Christmas. She watched Jordan and JJ talk about their experiences being liaisons for the BAU. She felt pride inside, bringing all these people together.

JJ saw her grin and she whispered in Emily's ear, "You've done good today."

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"The babies are asleep," Emily said as she sat down with the rest of the team as they roasted marshmallows at the fire pit outside of the house. "We can now relax."

"I remember when Jack had problems sleeping through the night. I'm surprised that they fell asleep in the same room," Hotch mentioned to his subordinate.

Remi asked him, "How old is Jack again?"

"He's almost four," Hotch informed the professor. "It has gone by so fast."

"So, Emily, are you going to keep the house or are you going to sell it?" Morgan asked her curiously. "Because I can take it off your hands if you need me to." He smirked at her playfully.

Emily snorted. "I bet you would. I heard all of your plans with Garcia about changing the house. You know, I think I'm going to continue renting it out and keep it as a vacation home. I think it would be a mistake losing this place."

"So you didn't come here as a kid?" Rossi asked his fellow agent.

The brunette profiler shook her head. "I think I would have remembered coming to America as a kid. And it was always too painful coming here after my dad died."

"And now his namesake is here in his house," Garcia commented happily. "That's crazy symbolic. It's like full circle here!"

Emily's face fell. She did not tell Remi about Henry's middle name. She watched the team nod thoughtfully. It was only Remi who had no clue what the tech analyst was referring to.

Remi furrowed her eyebrows and muttered under her breath near Emily, so she could hear. "What does she mean by namesake? You're named after your mother."

JJ, who was on the other side of Remi, also heard what she said and understood what it meant. "Oh, uh, Henry's middle name is Elijah, after Emily's dad. I figured that my son should be named after two men who truly loved their family."

The professor turned to Emily and looked her directly in the eye. She cleared her throat as if she was about to yell at her girlfriend. But instead of screaming, she lowered her voice and told her, "That's special. I think I'm going to go check on Maia." She got up suddenly, worrying the rest of the guests.

"I'll go with you," Emily said as she followed her girlfriend into the house. Once the door closed behind them, the profiler murmured, "Remi, I was going to tell you, but I didn't think it was important."

"Naşa," Remi stated harshly.

"What?"

"I know what it means, Em. I'm not an idiot. I know as many languages as you, remember? I know all the Romance languages. I know that you were there for JJ the whole time. Before and after Henry's birth. So being his parent figure didn't surprise me. But he's named after you? A child, not your own, is named after you?" Remi asked her, tears bubbling up in her eyes.

Emily shook her head, not believing that this was really happening. Especially after the almost perfect day she has had today. "JJ just appreciated all that I did for her. Nothing more than that."

"I didn't even know your father's name was Elijah."

"Neither did JJ! She had to get Garcia to look it up!" Emily admitted, her voice raised, not knowing what to say to her at this point.

Remi stared at her, trying to contain her hurt. She stood in front of the woman she loved and hoped that their love could be enough. She took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay. Alright. Sorry for acting like a paranoid git."

"No..." Emily said, walking up to her girlfriend and pressed her hand to the professor's cheek, caressing it delicately. "Don't apologize. I haven't been there enough for you. I- I've been neglecting you and that's my fault. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

She didn't even hesitate to nod and hugged her girlfriend. "Of course I can, Em. But I'm still tired. I'm going to go to bed, but you stay up, okay?"

"Okay," Emily told her with a nod. She watched her girlfriend go up the stairs and leave her all alone in such a big house. She jumped when she heard the door closed. She turned around to find Hotch walking up to her.

"Everything okay with you and Remi?" He asked her as he took a seat close to her.

"Yeah, yeah, we're fine," Emily lied easily. She found Hotch glaring at her, and she realized that he knew the truth. She groaned, annoyed that he knew how not okay everything was. "I don't know, okay? She said that she's fine..."

"You're a profiler, Prentiss," Hotch reminded her. "You know her better than most. If you think that she really isn't okay, then you are probably right."

Emily shook her head. "I don't profile her."

"Why?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Why don't you profile her? I mean, profiling a significant other is what every person in a relationship does. They just don't call it profiling. As a person in a relationship, you try to notice their tone, posture, and behavior, so that you know if you have done something wrong. So why aren't you profiling her?"

Emily never saw it in that way. "I don't know."

"When Haley and I were in the beginning stages of our relationship, we did everything we could to learn everything about each other. We studied each other. We knew everything about each other. We were so honest that trust came easy for us. We profiled each other so closely that we fell in love. But it was when I became an actual profiler, when I studied other people, that I stopped profiling her. Now I realize that I knew that if I profiled her, I would have noticed she was unhappy with me. And I couldn't handle that," Hotch confessed to her wisely.

"So, are you saying that I don't want to know how she really feels?" Emily asked him, trying to read between the lines.

The Unit Chief shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe not. Our relationships aren't the same, Emily. I was married to Haley for years. We had the time to create perfect trust. Maybe you just don't trust yourself enough to let yourself profile her and let her profile you."

Emily thought that through and found it to be true. "And what do you think that I should do about that?"

"You can't help how you feel, Prentiss. You can love someone all you want. But that isn't what makes a relationship a good and strong one. I wish I had realized that before it was too late," He nodded curtly before getting up and heading back outside.

"Wait, Hotch!" When he turned around to look at her, she asked, "Can you tell everyone that I went to bed? And tell them that we are okay?"

"Of course. See you in the morning, Prentiss."

"You, too, sir."

Emily walked upstairs to find Remi snuggling with the sheets in the huge bed. Emily took off her shoes and coat and crawled into bed. She wrapped her arms around the professor and realized that the woman was asleep. She was left alone with her thoughts to keep her company. She thought about everything Hotch had told her.

She knew that she had been making so many mistakes with Remi. She didn't know if it was because she didn't know how to do relationships in general or she didn't know how to do a relationship with Remi. All she knew was that she loved the professor and didn't want to hurt her. She just didn't know if that was enough for Remi. She didn't know what else she could give her. And that's what scared her. Remi was the first person not in the team to understand her in so long. They were so similar in so many ways. But Emily still couldn't let her in. And she didn't know if that was because she has so many walls that she didn't know if she could let anyone in or if she just couldn't let Remi in.