The planets bend between us

Chapter 38

"Has anyone gotten a call from Prentiss?" Hotch asked in the conference room, checking his watch for the third time in the last few minutes.

The rest of the team shook their heads, concerned for their team member who hadn't come into work.

"Remi said that she was sick," Reid told them. "But every other time she has shown signs of symptoms of sickness she has come to work. She has only been late to work three times and they were days of heavy traffic."

"Her friend died," Rossi mentioned. "She's grieving."

The rest of the team nodded. They forgot that Emily couldn't possibly compartmentalize everything.

JJ was interrupted in deep thought with a phone call. She recognized the number so she walked out and answered.

"Hello?"

"JJ. Thank god. Something's wrong with Emily. I don't know how to help her and I have to go to work."

JJ's heart raced at the sound of Remi's voice. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

"I don't know! I don't know! She came home last night, and I told her that Maia got adopted and she threw up. She went to bed. And now she doesn't want to wake up. I don't think she's sick but I'm not sure. I couldn't think of who else to call."

"Right. Right. I'll be there shortly." JJ said before hanging up. She quickly walked back into the conference room and said, "Remi called me. She's worried about Emily and she wants me to check up on her. I'll try to figure out what's wrong."

"Good. Go. Make sure she's alright. And if she needs a day off, make sure she gets it," Hotch told her seriously.

JJ nodded and left the room. She needed to figure out what was wrong.

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"Emily?" The woman whispered as she entered the apartment. She had found the key under the placemat, just like Remi had texted her to do. She felt weird entering an apartment without being invited in. She walked inside and headed for the bedroom. She knocked on the door gently before entering. She was startled by how dark the room was. She went over to the window and opened the blinds. She jumped when she heard Emily groan. She turned around and saw her.

Emily had pulled the covers all the way up to her chin. She was hugging a pillow. Her face was almost translucent. Her body was shaking. It terrified the blonde.

"Em? Can I help you in some way?" She asked the woman who tried her hardest to not listen to the loud voices. When she didn't receive an answer from the brunette, she said, "I heard about Maia. Did you tell Remi about Rome?"

The brunette didn't reply. She felt dizzy and blackness was rushing into her vision.

JJ walked to the side of the bed to try to get closer to the woman. She stopped when she heard a crunch and felt something below her feet. She looked down to find a bunch of pills including a pill bottle. She let out a gasp. "Emily, how many sleeping pills did you take?"

The profiler groaned and rolled on to her back. "Only a few."

That did not make JJ feel any better. She put her hand to Emily's forehead and asked, "How many is a few?"

She coughed and replied, "Four. Maybe five. I don't know. It'll pass."

"You've done this before?" JJ asked her, concerned for her friend.

Tears fell down Emily's cheek in embarrassment. "Not in a long time. You can leave. It'll pass."

JJ shook her head, not knowing how to deal with this situation. "I'm staying. How long will it take for it to pass?"

"It'll be a while."

The blonde sighed and laid down on the bed next to the brunette. "When's the last time you did this?"

"Before the BAU," Emily admitted. "Not for a while. The memories. They... they were too much."

"And then the news of Maia," JJ added, finally understanding what the brunette was going through.

Emily let out a harsh chuckle. "It's fitting, isn't it? Almost like the Universe telling me that I don't deserve kids for what I did."

JJ cringed at her friend's words. She wrapped her arms around the breaking brunette. "Oh, Em. That's not true. The Universe doesn't control us. You did what you had to do when you were fifteen. No one blames you. You deserve children just as much as I do. As anyone does. And you will be a parent someday. You know you always have Henry."

"It's not enough. It's... when I met Remi, everything seemed so perfect. She wanted a family. She had Maia. It seemed perfect. But now... Maia's going to be adopted. And Remi thought I would be excited about that. She... I love her. But she doesn't understand parts of me. And I don't have the courage to explain them to her."

JJ nodded, understanding exactly what she said. "I felt the same way about Will. I thought that we could have everything. That we could have the suburban life and the 2.5 kids and everything my parents would have wanted for me. But I didn't want it. I love Henry and I want children. But I want the job. I love it. And I wouldn't let Will in to see that about me. I never will be able to let anyone fully in. That's just who we are."

"Do you think... do you think there's hope for us?"

The blonde thought about it for a second and replied, "I know there is."