The planets bend between us

Chapter 30

Emily woke up shivering and nauseous. She ran to the bathroom and threw up. She washed her hands for minutes, trying to scrub away the dirtiness she felt. She checked the clock before leaving the bedroom. It was perfect. No one should be awake. She walked outside, feeling the brisk chill. She sat down in the same spot she had years ago.

Repressed memories. Just another thing that Emily could add to her endless list of problems. She started to cry, feeling what she had felt when she was nine years old. She had pushed away what she felt for so long. She felt like it just happened. She felt pain for her father. She just wanted him there, holding her. She just wanted to talk to him one last time.

Her catatonic state was interrupted when she felt a warm blanket wrap around her. She looked up to find a familiar blonde stare back at her. Emily felt like she didn't deserve the blanket, but she held it close to her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" JJ asked her gently, not pushing the brunette in any way whatsoever.

Emily didn't know words were falling out of her mouth until it was too late. "I have been here before. I pushed the memory away so far, but I've been here. I know why my mom wanted me to sell it now."

JJ sat down next to her friend. "What happened?"

"I was nine. Dad picked me up from my house in Russia in the middle of the night. I hadn't seen him in so long. He took me to the airport and we flew to America. He took me to this house. We just watched the water together. He held me close and reminded me he loved me. My mother came and took me away. My mother kept me away from him all my childhood. He was messed up. He drank, did drugs, everything. My mom tried to hide it from me. The last thing I heard my father say was that I shouldn't love him. He OD'ed a few days later. My mom couldn't hide that from me. But we were able to hide it from everyone else. To the public, Elijah Asher Prentiss died from a car accident."

JJ took the brunette's hand, holding it tight. She watched the woman break in front of her. The strongest woman she had ever known was falling apart. "I was eleven when my parents found my sister in a pool of her own blood. They tried holding me back, but I was stubborn. Rosaline was seventeen and my best friend. The previous day she gave me her necklace and told me she loved me. It took me a long time to realize that she really did love me. That her suicide had nothing to do with me. She wasn't well, mentally. And neither was your father. But that doesn't mean they didn't love us and we didn't love them. Because we did. I like to think they are happy now. That they found peace."

Emily sobbed and put her head on JJ's lap. Much like Emily had once done for JJ, the blonde brushed her fingers through the brunette's hair.

"Sometimes I- I feel like I'm hanging by a thread and I think that there is nothing really here tethering me down," Emily admitted to her in a quaking whisper. "I want to tell Remi. I want to tell her everything. I just can't."

"That's okay. You're the first person I have told about Rose. You'll get there with Remi. But in the meantime, you can talk to me. Just keep talking to me. And if you ever feel like you are hanging by a thread, come to me. I'll remind what will keep you tethered down here. Like Henry. And Remi. The team. And me."

Emily nodded, feeling better about everything. She felt comfortable in JJ's arms. She felt reassured and relaxed. She felt like she could just be herself.