This chapter contains cutting. If this is a trigger or you don't like self-harm, don't read.
chapter 7
alyssa's POV
"Did that seriously just happen?" Rhyen sighs happily, leaning against my door.
"Honestly, I'm still not sure if I'm high and hallucinating or not." I reply, setting down my new phone.
"Oh, my God. I'm dying inside." Rhyen gasps, pointing to her chest. "My heart is having a panic attack." She smiles widely and lets out a girly squeal. "Alyssa!" She screams. "We just met the hottest freaking people alive!"
"Woah, Rhyen, chill." I laugh as she runs forward and leaps onto my bed. She rolls around until the blankets have wrapped her in a cacoon.
"You look like a mermaid." I giggle. She wiggles her legs around in response.
"I have to get ready, Rhy. Get out." I command.
"No. I like being a mermaid." She says stubbornly.
I sigh. "Fine. I'll just use the bathroom." I rummage through my drawer and grab my shorts and my jersey. I also grab my long-sleeved undershirt, which is surprisingly sweat-resistant. I make my way into the bathroom and lock the door.
The shower curtain is open, and my eyes slide over the razor lying on the side of the tub. I take a deep breath and look away.
Not while Rhyen's here. She'll see the blood.
I try to ignore the painful itching on my arm, my nerves begging me for the pain. I grunt as I shrug off my jacket, turning my back on the tub. I pull off my black jeans and pull on my shorts, the silky fabric tickling my legs. I slip my shirt over my head and stare at the scars on my stomach. They remind me of when my mom was alive.
She used to play this game where she would tickle my stomach until my face turned purple. Then, she'd let me run away and hide. She'd always find me, and when she did, she'd tickle me even more. The cycle would repeat until I was too tired to keep playing.
I run my fingers over the rough skin and look down at my arm. The scars almost reach my elbow, wrapping around my forearm. They aren't entirely horizontal, either. They go all different directions.
I feel a tear run down my cheek and I look at myself in the mirror. I'm broken, that much I can tell. I think about how happy everyone seems to be and another tear finds it's way to my cheek. I take a shaky breath and turn to the tub. I snatch the razor off of the ledge and look down at my arm. It's itching furiously now, as if it can tell that I'm holding the razor and it's excited for the attention it brings. I snap the top of the razor off, the blade cutting my thumb as I do. I bring my thumb to my mouth and suck away the excess blood.
The razor makes four cuts before I'm interrupted.
"Alyssa?" Rhyen calls, pounding on the bathroom door. "You've been in there for ten minutes. What's up?"
"Nothing." I answer, a bit too quickly. "I just had to..." I pause, frantically searching my brain for an answer. "Brush my teeth." I lie.
"Well, hurry. Your game starts in 20 minutes." She says. I hear her footsteps down the hall and I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. I tear off a ton of toilet paper and wrap the blade inside it. Opening the drawer under the sink, I grab a new blade for the razor. After snapping it on, I quickly bandage up my arm. I get dressed and grab all of my things-Water, ball, cleats and shinguards-and rush downstairs.
Rhyen and Martha are waiting for me. I know that my father won't come. Good, I don't want him here. Just thinking about him makes my breath catch in my chest. I don't want him near me.
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accidental||Luke Hemmings
Fanfic"When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. That's where my demons hide, That's where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside. That's where my demons hide, That's where my demons hide." Alyssa Chase is confused. She's convinced that sh...
