Blink Of An Eye

Epilogue

February, Daytona 500

It was surreal standing next to Ryan on pit road for the pre-race ceremony, as we watched the flyover. I couldn't help but think of this time last year. It felt like we had come full circle. Although Ryan had been cleared to return this past September, he had elected to sit the rest of the season out. Fully believing that Ryan would not return for the season, Team Penske had elected to keep Austin Cindric in the 12 car until Ryan was cleared. In Austin's first race he had a very strong run, so the decision was made to have his points declaration changed from Xfinity to cup, the cup drivers would share the Xfinity car for companion events. Austin had won at Sonoma, and locked himself into the playoffs. Because he had been cleared after the playoffs had begun, Ryan decided to put off his return. He believed it was best for the team, and he was focused on spending more time with his family.

So much had happened over the past year. Ryan and I had changed a lot. We were both a little older, and a lot wiser. We no longer took even the most minor things for granted. After coming so close to losing everything, we both clung to what we had, which in turn, made our marriage and our love for each other grow even stronger. It was a bit ironic that it took such a tragic turn of events, but we would take this second chance and never look back.

In July, we celebrated my birthday with the birth of Nicole and Alex's baby boy. In September, Makenna turned a year old. In October, Emma gave birth to a baby girl. In November, Chase celebrated a championship and Carly announced that she and Chase were having a baby, and they were married as planned the following month. We took a couple of trips. Ryan and I went to Cabo just the two of us, and a few weeks later, we took a family vacation to Costa Rica. Erin and William had gotten engaged on Christmas. On New Year's Eve, we celebrated Ryan's birthday. I was thrilled to reconnect with my old friend Dean, and even more thrilled that he had come out with being gay, and introduced us to who he referred to as his "soulmate" Jason.

Ryan and I talked a lot about him returning to racing, and although the idea terrified me, I supported him one hundred percent. 'We can't let fear dictate our lives' became my mantra.

The first thing we did after arriving in Daytona was visit the hospital. Ryan and I had wanted to personally thank the doctors and nurses who had been involved in his care a year ago, and they were thrilled to see that he had made a full recovery. Upon his arrival at the hospital that fateful day last year, no one was certain that he would even survive, let alone recover completely. We truly were blessed.

After the performance of the National Anthem, Ryan kissed me before he passed Makenna off  to me. "You expect me to carry both of your children." I teased, looking down at my little baby bump. That's right. We had a baby due in five months. After the first few months of negative pregnancy tests, we made it a point to put getting pregnant out of our minds and just enjoy the sex. All the sex. Apparently it worked. My pregnancy was going great. Perfect in fact. We didn't know the gender, we didn't want to know. We liked the element of surprise. Although we hoped for a boy, I had a feeling it was a girl.

"I expect you to carry all of my children." He smirked at me, and I laughed. However the moment quickly became more serious.

It was time.

"I love you. You be safe out there." I said, my usual words to him before a race taking on extra meaning. I may have kissed him longer and held onto him a little tighter than usual.

"I love you too. I've got so much waiting for me after the race." He kissed me one more time before putting on his helmet and got into the car.

I sent up an extra prayer after he was strapped in, asking God to just please keep him safe.