countdown... | Ateez Yunho

4 days remaining...

I did not see Yunho in my dreams last night. But, I was okay with that since I knew I'd find him again soon. I had to, right? I was beginning to feel such a strong connection with him that it would only make sense that I'd spend my last days with him. He was almost like my temporary soulmate for the time being. And I hope I was good enough to be his too. But, who could be his real soulmate? The very thought made me jealous even though I had no clue who it could be.

I did my usual routine then went on my way to search for him again. I was so giddy thinking about him. Did he like me too? Was I getting way too ahead of myself? Would he be devastated when I'm gone? I didn't want to put him through the pain. But, I also wanted to be with him as much as possible.

Even though he made me walk all around the city to look for him, I didn't really mind. It was nice to explore and I knew I'd feel better when I did eventually find him. But, why was he making it so hard? Was I getting the wrong message? Was this his way of rejecting me? I wanted to know what I was doing wrong.

Maybe I was just overthinking. If Yunho really didn't like me then he would tell me, right? But, just to make sure, I wanted to make myself more likable for him. Whatever he wanted me to change, I'd change for him. I want to be his dream girl.

I decided to change my original plan of meeting up with him and headed to the mall instead. I walked to the salon and booked an appointment then immediately went shopping. But, what does he like? What kind of girl did he want me to be? I started trying on multiple outfits, growing more frustrated as I changed out of each one. Nothing looked good on me. Was this my fault again? Was this the reason why I could never find love?

I didn't know why I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Why was I so insecure now? I just wanted Yunho to like me. But, will he even like me after I did all this? I quickly bought whatever clothes made me feel decent then headed back to the salon.

"Please, just do whatever you want to my hair," I told the hairstylist.

"Is there a specific look you're going for?"

"I want to be pretty."

She spun my chair around and started cutting my hair.

"Do you like it?" she asked when she turned me back to the mirror.

"Yes, I love it," I lied. After I paid for the haircut, I ran to the bathroom and started crying. Why did I do this? What if Yunho thought I was even uglier now? I had to make it up to him. What was something he'd like?

I cleaned myself up and changed into my new clothes then went back to shopping. I was peaking through stores until I saw a beautiful watch on display.

"Excuse me, how much is that?" I asked when I walked inside and gestured to the window.

"$500," the man answered. My jaw immediately dropped to the floor. I've never spent so much at one time, especially on something so unnecessary. But, he was worth it.

"I'll take it." I smiled. I left the store feeling completely uneasy. After my trip, I was determined to find Yunho once again. I was wearing new clothes with a new haircut and I was starting to feel a little bit better about myself. I hope Yunho will appreciate my efforts.

I began walking around again until the sun started to droop down. I didn't realize how much time I spent preparing myself. Was I going to find him in time?

"Yunho?" I started to yell. What use was that though? How would he even be able to hear me? And strangers were starting to look at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was.

I wanted to give up until I saw a familiar silhouette up ahead.

"Yunho!" I shouted. He turned around but quickly went back to his phone, completely disregarding me. Did he not recognize my new look?

"Hey, did I do something wrong?" I tried to ask until I saw a girl approaching him. I didn't think much of it until I saw them hugging each other. Had he already moved on from me? Was I that insignificant to him? I held onto my bags tightly as I ran back home with tears in my eyes. I probably looked even crazier to people now, but could you really judge a girl who was about to die?

When I got home, I threw everything onto the floor and started screaming into my pillow. Who was his new girl? What made her better than me? I looked into the mirror to look at myself again. I looked like a train wreck.

"I did all this for you though," I whispered. Did he even know how much he hurt me? Did he even care? Was my one shot at love just some kind of sick joke? That just meant the physic was even more right. I was cursed since birth.

"Love is so stupid!" I screamed. I spent all this time questioning him and turns out I was right. Yunho wasn't my soulmate. Not even a temporary one.

Was I really that unlovable...?