After a restless night, I realized that the fortune teller was right. Even though I didn't want to give up, I was too tired to keep trying. It felt like I was slamming my body against a brick wall. Giving up was easier than holding onto nonexistent hope. My body was aching and the brick wall had no intentions of letting me through.
Even so, the world had to make sure I was at my lowest. Suddenly everywhere I went I started seeing everything in duos. The birds flying in the morning, desperately trying to fight against the wind. The two cars who seem to always end up at the same red light. The children who play together with their corresponding dolls. And Nari and Yunho who seemed to be the perfect couple. Everyone had their other half. And I was just one part of a whole that will never be filled. Yet, looking at others made me feel like I had even more opportunities. I wasn't tied down to any responsibilities of having to be with someone for the rest of my life. I didn't have to go through the arguments and downfalls that all relationships have. But, was I really winning? Could you even call it a victory when you're all alone?However, thinking about it negatively didn't do me any good. Therefore, I wasn't going to see this as a bad thing. I was going to enjoy myself for once.
I started strolling around the streets, peeking at all the couples I could see. Once I saw an interesting pair, I followed them to see what it was like to be in a relationship. All I've been doing is seeing Nari and Yunho, and it only brought me pain. I wanted to see what the good side of love is like. The part where the two are shy and awkward and eventually start to hold hands. Or when you buy each other small gifts that remind you of them. The love that I've romanticized. It had to have happened in real life, right?
I started following a woman and a man who were holding hands on the street. They stopped to pose in front of a pretty tree so they could take a nice selfie together. Afterwards, the two became quiet and were no longer holding hands.
"I can't believe you're my soulmate," the man spat as they sat down on a bench.
"Believe me, I'd rather be dead than stuck with you."
"Die then."
The two bickered and it suddenly became overbearing to watch. I knew love was complicated, but I didn't know it was as awful as that. What was life's plan? Why did it want to make everyone suffer?
I walked away and let my feet take me wherever. As I walked I stared at the ground so I didn't know where I was going. Without realizing, I ended up walking to a graveyard. I looked around at all the tombstones. I couldn't be the only person without a soulmate. So, where was everyone else? We're we so doomed that we couldn't even interact with each other?
I carefully made my way around until I noticed my name on one of the stones. This must be where Nari chose to put my body. I bent down to look but seeing my name made me feel sick to my stomach. To everyone, I was really dead. I'd never get the chance to communicate with them again. And for my last days, I spent them alone with my hallucinations. Why did I have to be so desperate for love? Why couldn't I have been happier with what I had?
My cries became louder as I regretted every single choice I've made. In a distance, I heard someone weeping as well. I got up from the ground to see who was crying. But, their hood was up and their knees were brought to their face. Maybe it was weird of me to sit next to them, but I did it anyway.
When I looked closer at the tombstone, I read the name "Jeong Chae-won".
Jeong?
I looked over and moved my head under the person's. My eyes shot open when I caught a glimpse. I backed up when I saw them shift in their spot.
"I'm so sorry, mom."
I immediately recognized the voice. How was he everywhere I went?
"I wish I got to meet you."
I didn't understand what he saying. He never met his mother yet he was apologizing to her?
At that point, I wanted to leave. I wanted to stay as far away from Yunho as possible. Every time I saw him, I was reminded of the heartbreak I'll eternally endure. But suddenly I was stopped in my tracks. He started quietly singing with tears streaming down his face. How could I walk away now? All I wanted was to comfort him, but I couldn't. The only thing I could do was stare as he sobbed to himself. In the moment, he looked just as alone as I did. But, he didn't deserve the loneliness that I was bearing.
This just proved that the fortune teller was even more right. How could I have been so selfish before to want to have Yunho for myself? If he hadn't met Nari, he and her would've both died. And in the end, I wouldn't have been able to have him anyway. So really, I guess it turned out well for everyone. It was a sacrifice, but I was glad life chose me.
Lost in thought, I forgot I was sitting next to Yunho until he started to sniffle. His crying was coming to an end, but his expression was even sadder now.
"Mom, I think your efforts were in vain." His voice cracked as he spoke.
"I don't think I'll ever find my soulmate."
My jaw dropped wide open. What was he saying? Did he not think Nari was his soulmate? That was impossible. Even the psychic had said he was on the right track.
"I guess I'll see you soon." After he said this, he got up and walked away.
What did he mean by that? Was he planning on visiting again? Or was he thinking of something worse like dying just to see his mother on the other side? I suddenly started panicking now. How could he and Nari not be soulmates? He put in so much effort to be with her and he doesn't even think she's the one? Why was he wasting time then? Shouldn't he be actively looking for the person who could save his life?
My mind was racing like crazy, and the only conclusion I could come up with is that Yunho was really in love with Nari. He wanted to be with her so badly that he didn't care if it killed him. How could he do that to me? I knew I couldn't be with him, so seeing him alive was all I had. Once he dies, I'll never see him again.
And how about Nari? If he keeps spending time with her, how will she able to find her actual soulmate? He didn't even realize the danger he was putting everyone in.
How could you ruin love like this, Yunho?
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countdown... | Ateez Yunho
FanfictionIn a world where people must find their soulmates before the age of 20, Kim Aera is told by a psychic that hers doesn't exist. But, with the last few days before her 20th birthday, she's willing to bet her entire life on one boy named Jeong Yunho.