countdown... | Ateez Yunho

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Ever since Nari dropped me off at home last night, I couldn't help but think about the boy I saw yesterday. It was only a small glimpse, but I was immediately attracted to him. Would I have looked crazy if I said hello? Maybe. But, I wish I looked crazy instead of living with this deep regret. I should have just done whatever I could to see him fully. I was dying soon anyway.

That morning I woke up to my alarm that I set for my early classes. But, what was the use of those anymore? All I wanted was for the days to go by quicker now. If I couldn't have love, I couldn't have anything at all.

When I fell back asleep, my mind must have been playing games with me. Because there he was in all his glory. The stranger who I saw for merely seconds the day before.

The dream felt realistic. Almost too realistic. Like, I could reach out to him and he would hold onto me back. So, was I really dreaming?

"Hello?" I called out to him from across the street. He didn't turn his head. I called out again, but he didn't move. His eyes were too engrossed on his screen as he switched between songs in his playlist. He adjusted his earbuds as I stared.

Was this my second chance? Was love pitying me for some reason? Whatever the case may be, I didn't want to feel regretful anymore. Without thinking, my legs started moving and I ran towards him. Suddenly, my eyes shot open and I was back to my room. The dream made me feel emptier than I did before.

I stared up at my ceiling, drained from the combination of the bad news and the hopeful dream. What was love trying to communicate with me? Was I going to live or not?

I sat up and started getting ready for the day. I wanted to live a peaceful life before my inevitable tragedy. I made my way to the local dog park to enjoy the nice weather. It never hurt to look at cute puppies either.

I started walking around to admire the cute dogs. I even petted some when the owners gave me permission to. After maybe an hour, I was ready to leave until I saw the cutest golden retriever walk by. It was alone, but had a dog tag around its neck.

"Yunho?" I read out loud.

"What a strange name to give a dog," I thought to myself. But for some reason, the name felt familiar. While I was crouched down beside the dog, a woman came running towards us.

"There you are!" she cried out. She quickly lifted him up from the ground and held onto him tightly.

"You have a really cute dog," I complimented.

"Yes, I am very lucky. I wish he would behave more though," she joked.

"His name is very interesting. May I ask why you chose it?"

The woman's face saddened.

"I named him after my son. I had a miscarriage 19 years ago. I haven't tried again since."

"I'm so sorry for prying."

"Don't be. Sometimes life just isn't fair, right?"

I sullenly nodded and the woman gave a weak smile before walking away. I didn't know a day at the dog park could become so intense.

I was ready to leave once again until I heard a voice scream, "watch out!" When I turned around, it was too late. A tennis ball quickly came flying to my face. I grabbed my face in pain and I heard footsteps running towards me.