Losing you book 3

Chapter 1

JC

Do I really want to do this?

I've been asking myself that question that same question for the past few weeks, ever since I woke up from drinking too much the previous night beside a naked Laura.

I don't remember fucking her, or even touching her. Fucking? What has happened to me? I used to think of that act as making love, a way for me to show Yve how much I love her.

Stop. I don't want to think about her.

Laura said something happened between us that night. That's how I'm supposedly in a relationship now, for her anyway. I'm still married to Yve, that's what I know.

Stop. I shouldn't think about her.

No matter how much Yve has hurt me, I was still holding on to the hope that she'd come back to me eventually. Call me a sucker for pain, they told me she ran off with another guy, and that they already have a daughter. I even have their picture to taunt myself whenever I feel my resolve weakening and I want to beg her to take me back.

Can't I even last for five minutes without thinking of her?

I cannot help imagining what it would've been like to have been the father of her daughter, she looks so much like Yve. How I longed for our own child. I remember she even tried to give me one, it was eons ago.

It's too late now. She wasn't mine anymore.

I hate what I found out about Kenneth Drake, the man she's supposedly in a relationship with. She and her daughter were being kept a secret because of the guy's career.

She deserves more that that. They both deserve to be recognized. He should let everyone know about the girls in his life.

Wait, no.

She deserves it for leaving me for him. I would've been so proud of them and she chose him. Maybe that's why she wanted me to come see my mother, so she can spend time with that boy. That's what I thought and believed for a while.

Well, Laura told me three weeks ago that she's pregnant so I guess I'll be making my own family now. I just need to get a divorce from Yve.

A divorce.

I never thought mom wouldn't jump at the opportunity to get me and Yve divorced but she didn't. So I hired an investigator to know her reasons for doing so. I guess I was hoping she wouldn't divorce me, I mean, we've been married 18 times before, doesn't that count for something?

I also wanted to know why my brother and my sister never came to see me. And my father for that matter.

Mom said they didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.

But it wasn't so. And now I know why.

A few days ago I got a report and apparently everyone, my family, and my wife, was told I died in the car accident when I went off a cliff, straight to the water and they couldn't find my body, wait, they found my torso.

I don't know how mom pulled it off, but she did. And they believed her.

I can understand why it would be hard to get a divorce when the other person is presumed dead. If I were dead, maybe Yve was desperate and lost and devastated, that's why she made a mistake, got pregnant. Now she has to live with the consequence of that.

But no. She shouldn't have given up so easily.

Maybe there's an explanation for all of this. But I can't dwell on any of that.

It's too late.

Now I'm going to have to live with the mistake I made. I only wanted to drown my sorrows in booze, I never thought that night would end up to be the biggest mistake of my life.