Losing you book 3

Chapter 2

YVE

I haven't slept in days. I asked my mom to take the kids with them so I can take some sleeping pills and fall asleep. I cannot take the image of Laura kissing JC out of my mind. It's been haunting me, every time I close my eyes and even when I'm awake.

I took three pills, that would probably be enough for now. Ok, it was taking so long, I took two more.

When I came to, Leah and my mom were both there. "What time is it?" I asked.

"It's three in the afternoon." Mom said.

"Are you sick?" Leah asked.

I decided to lie, that would be my excuse. "Yes. I felt like I was coming down with something that's why I asked you to take the twins. I didn't want them to get infected."

"Do you feel better now?" Leah asked.

"A little." I was still sleepy. Maybe I should take a pill at night to help me sleep.

"I'm picking JM up from the airport tomorrow night. You want to come?" She asked.

"Rain check." I said. I saw JM outside JC's apartment in New York. I know he needed to extend his stay which probably meant he kept trying to convince him but he wouldn't budge. He's probably given up. Did he tell him about my twins? I pray to God he didn't.

"Can I take the twins with me?" She asked.

"If they want to, sure." I told her. Honestly, I feel like I'm losing it. I love my kids with all my heart and I hate myself for feeling this way but if it weren't for them, I don't care if I get arrested, I'd do everything I can to get JC back.

But I couldn't, I'm the only one they have. Seeing JC kissing someone else made me feel that, it made me question why they were given to me. Haven't I given enough? Haven't I suffered enough? Now the last Ray of hope that I've clung to is gone.

I've never felt so lost and alone.

"Yve?" I heard Leah say.

"Yeah?" I said. I feel groggy. How many pills did I take again? I took three. Oh, I took two more because it wasn't working.

"Are you ok?" She asked again.

"Yes. I just need to get some more sleep." Then I closed my eyes and I was out again.

I woke up the next day feeling disoriented. My phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I didn't even check who it is.

"How are you?" It was Ken.

"I just woke up." I told him. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I've been calling for hours, you can't expect me not to worry. I was heading back down but you called production and told them there wasn't an emergency so they kept me here. What's happening inside that head of yours?" He asked. Ken's become one of my closest friends over the years, although I've only met him a few years ago. He's been there for me when I needed someone.

I know they all thought I'd start to move on and open my heart again to him. He was open to both my family and JC's family about how he felt about me. He is also one of the rare few who would've loved me and my kids with all his heart. But I couldn't, I wasn't capable of loving someone else.

Eventually he realized the only way to love me was to be my friend. He's been there through all my craziness and my stalking JC. And he kept my secret from everyone because I asked him to. I know he doesn't deserve my silence because he's been there for me for so long, but I couldn't tell him back in New York. I couldn't tell him while we were in Hongkong. I couldn't tell him because telling him would mean I'd have to admit it to myself.