Running Towards A Place

I Can't Stay

Eddie's POV

Thankfully, my week got off to a good start, my classes went by on Monday and Tuesday without a hitch. All being well, my first art project will be ready for submission by Thursday, which was a relief. It took a lot of the pressure off of my shoulders but that Tuesday night training session was still very much needed.

"Hey Ed try not to get winded this week" Becca mocked as we discussed the upcoming fixture. We were up against local rivals, University of Utah at home. The games were always tough and intense apparently so coach Tyler made sure that training session was focused and that no time was wasted.
"Honestly Eddie if you play like you did last weekend, you'd be all over them" Layla called, as we chatted during a hasty water break.
"Yeah, their defense is strong but they're tall . You're quick and nippy, you'll have em falling over themselves" she laughed. That reassured me.
"I reckon Tyler will have you'd starting you know" Becca admitted, stretching out her calves.
"I don't know about that" I responded, unsure of how I felt about that pressure.
"Girls lets go! Come on!" Tyler called after giving a short sharp blast of his whistle. Obediently, we all jogged back over, ready for another set of drills. Another hour passed by of intense drills before we wrapped up.
"Look girls, good session tonight. We've got a big game this weekend ok" Tyler spoke, ensuring he made eye contact with each of us. "This game is possibly the biggest in our calendar ok. We've got this, 3 years on the trot we've absolutely slaughtered them here, let's make it 4 times ok. So starting 11 is as follows" he began to real off names, each earning applause and some high fives. When my name was announced I was shook. I didn't think I was at that standard yet but they clearly thought I was. I suddenly felt an intense pressure, I had to be on top of my game. Tyler continued to rally us before we all poured into a huddle with a hand each in the Centre, "3,2,1 cougars!" We roared before lazily dismissing ourselves.
"Don't worry Ed" I felt Becca's hand in my shoulder, "big pressure right?" She spoke, walking alongside me. I nodded, swallowing my nerves. "Honestly mate, you got this, perform like you did this weekend and you'll smash them" she reassured me as we reached the changing rooms.

That evening, my brain didn't know what to stress out about first, the assignment or the pressure of the game. To overcome the increasing pressure I decided I needed to plan my week out carefully and stick to it. So I joined Steph in watching some rubbish tv on the sofa and got planning. I figured out exactly what I needed to do and when and got it all slotted in. It didn't solve the problem but it made solving the problem seem less scary.
"So I've been put on the starting 11 for the Utah game" I informed Steph who was concentrating on a color by numbers therapy sheet.
"Oh that's brilliant Ed" She beamed, instantly looking over to me.
"Ehhh" I whined comically.
"Why not?" She questioned, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"So much pressure" I admitted, fiddling with my pencil.
"Eddie you must be good enough, your coach wouldn't have started you if he didn't think so" she offered, a warm smile on her lips.
"I guess" my head hung a little as I finished off my little schedule.
"I know it's easier said than done kid but try not to put so much pressure on yourself, what will be will be ok" Steph beamed. Her words reassuring me enough to think of something else for a little while.

The mini confidence boost Steph gave me on Tuesday night was enough to power me through until Friday. I was focusing on each day as it came, training myself to accept that I can only do so much and that I can't control everything. Friday night soon came and I was glad that school was over, all I had on my mind now was tomorrow's game. As usual, I spend Friday evenings with Brandon, either physically with him or over the phone. Today we hung out for a little while over FaceTime.

"Heyy Bran" I beamed when his familiar, handsome face popped up on my phone.
"Hey baby" his face also lit up when he eventually settled into the call, technology not being his strong point. "How are you?? I'm missing you this week" he began. His eyes looked heavy and tired but his smile was still full of life.
"It's been busy, I've had so much going on in my head" I admitted, just savoring the conversation with him.
"I'm sorry I've not been able to be with you" His face tinged with regret.
"No, no it's ok. I'm ok. I'll get to see you this weekend though?" I responded, feeling guilty for making him feel bad.
"I can't make your game tomorrow I'm afraid, I'm meeting a guitarist but I'll see you Sunday" he looked disappointed in himself.
"That's ok, I can't wait" I smiled, trying to reassure him, "oh guess what?"
"What?" He look of wonder stretched across his face.
"I'm in the starting 11 for tomorrow's game at home. We play Utah, it's like a massive rivalry game" I told him excitedly, unable to get my words out quick enough.
"Check you, little miss David Beckham" he joked, grinning proudly. We continued to chat about the game. I told him my worries and he completely understood. He told me about the nerves he used to get before performing and how managed to overcome it. He helped me so much and my nerves soon turned into excitement thanks to his kind words.