Mi amor

~19~

"Y/n what have you done?" I hear a deep voice say, a voice I knew all too well. It was my Dad. He wasn't meant to be back for at least a week, why was he here now? I was scared to open my eyes because I knew just how messy the house was. I mean he still thought of me as an innocent little girl who was responsible and maybe had one beer at a family gathering. This would probably induce a heart attack. 

I open my eyes to see him in the door way of my room, he was looking about shaking his head in shock and disappointment. I sit up, Henri was still in my bed to make matters a whole lot worse. He looks at me with almost disgust in his eyes. I had never let him down before and I was glad of that, the usually caring and goofy man looked scary and mad now. I don't think I had ever seen him like this before. 

"Dad.. please it-" I try to beg. 

"Don't even try to get out of this. I don't know what you were thinking. I never thought you would do something like this, and to think after having to work your birthday to support us, I felt so guilty that I managed to come home early to surprise you and I come home to this!" He shouts. I half flinch, Henry wakes up with a jump. "AND WHO IS THAT IN YOUR BED?!" He shouts even louder. 

"Dad," I plead with tears brimming my eyes "Please don't be angry, I have never ever done anything bad before. This is one party, it was my birthday, I am 18!" 

"I don't care what age you are, this is my house and I will not have it trashed like this. I didn't even think you had it in you to behave like this." He shakes his head and paces a bit. He looked like he was about to explode with rage. He looks at Henri who seemed to be quite stunned, "I am leaving to cool off, If this house is not spotless by the time I am back you are on house arrest y/n. ANd YOu, boy, had better be long gone unless you want to die." And with that he storms out my room and a couple of seconds later the front door slams an engine starts up. I sit in silence for a moment trying to comprehend what just happened. I turn to henry seeing he looks pretty much the same as me. 

"Sorry about that." I say to him.

"It's not your fault... but fucking hell, your Dad is scary as shit." He says looking bewildered. I chuckle a bit. 

"I swear I have never seen him like that but he also thinks my idea of fun is doing arts and crafts or some shit with Monse. So I suppose this would have been quite a shock." 

"Yeah probably just a bit of a shock." 

After a bit I bring myself to start tidying up. I didn't want to test my chances. I go through to the sitting room and asses the damage, it was just Monse and Jamal left. They were both sitting on the couch in shock, my Dad had likely given them a nice wake up. 

"I think we better start cleaning." I say and they both nod, the poor things looked traumatized. "Okay I'll go get some bin bags and you lot could maybe just collect up as many cans, cups and bottles as you can  and put them in piles." They nod and get to work. I go through to the kitchen and get all the cleaning appliances. The house really was a mess and cleaning it all with a hangover was going to be hell. I really just wanted to go back to bed but I knew the faster I got it done the better things would be. I go back through to the others and start cleaning up with them. Shit, this was probably going to take hours. 

- a few hours later -

"Henri leavee! If my Dad comes  back and you are still here it will not be pretty," I say whilst shoeing him out the house. He had been a great help today with the cleaning but he really did have to go or my Dad would probably kill him. 

"Okay baby, but call me tonight to tell me how things are going, I'm scared he will still be mad at you." Henri says standing on a lower step from me in front of my house. He was holding onto my hand and looking into my eyes like a couple. Oh how do I tell him I don't want to be with him.

"He won't be mad. I'll go get some food or something. Plus we have really cleaned the house, I don't think it has been this clean for years to be honest so he surely can't get too mad at me." I say, I was hoping it was the truth but honestly I didn't know how mad he would be. I had never really been in much trouble before so this was big. 

"Yeah hopefully. When do you think I'll get to see you again?" He asks. I look away. I couldn't pretend anymore. I hated leading him on but I didn't want to push him away forever. I loved our friendship but it could never go back to what it was. I just needed someone to be there for me like he was but not in a sexual way because the minute it got heated he stopped caring so much about me, or it was like he treated me different half the time depending what mood he was in and I hated it. I still loved him but still only in a friendly way. I really didn't want to tell him now but I figured there would never be a better time, chances are he wouldn't be able to come over for a few weeks any way so I would have a perfect excuse for ghosting him. 

"Henri I need to tell you something." I say biting my lip. He looks at me so innocently, it was almost going to make me cry. He doesn't even know how bad I have treated him and now I was the one going to break it off. 

"What is it y/n?" He says looking straight at me and making it even harder to do this. 

"I need a break." I say, the silence afterwards is deafening. He looked down at my shoes and back up at me, he wasn't crying but he looked heartbroken. 

"From me?" He asks, but he already knew the answer.

"Yes." 

"Is there a reason," He asked with pain shimmering in his eyes. It was killing me to do this. 

"I just need to be alone again, I don't think I'm good for you. We were so good at being friends but now it just feels off." I say. 

"Why, I mean have I done something. I can't think of a reason, everything has been great. wha- why?- I don-" 

"Henri. It's not you, it's just that I don't feel as committed to this as you seem and I don't want to hurt you. Our friendship was so pure and I hate that its changed. You are great but I just want to be free at the moment, I don't feel ready for everything and it honestly kind of scared me. But I still want to be friends. I still want to be part of your life... but only if that's something you would want too?" I say. I felt so bad not telling him the full truth but if Oscar wasn't in the picture I would probably be doing the same thing anyway. 

"I understand, but I think I have to leave." He says turning away and quickly walking to his car. 

"Henri please don't be mad." I say catching up to him, I grab his arm but he pulls away. 

"y/n please just go back inside, I need time to think. I need to be alone." 

"Okay, take as much time as you need, but please know there is no bad blood between us." 

"Maybe not on your part." He mutters as he gets in his car. He looks at me once, jaw clenched and regret in his eyes, before he drove away. I look at the car until I can no longer see it. I really hoped I hadn't just lost a good friend. 

Fuck.