summary - just some fluff tbh - simon reassuring harry
"Thanks for watching, cheers bye,"
"Check out sidemen clothing!"
"Oh yeah. Go do that."
Everyone laughed.
I let myself relax finally. We had finally finished filming and soon when everyone had gone, me and Harry could at long last get into bed together and be as close as we liked. I kept stealing glances at Harry, who spent most of the video fidgeting by himself in the corner. I really just wanted to scoop him up into my arms and calm him down. I could always tell when Harry was anxious and it pained me not to be able to hug him and tell him everything would be ok. However, at long last the cameras were off and as soon as I had kicked everyone out it would be just the two of us, the way I knew Harry felt the most comfortable.
"Ok bye!" I smiled desperately trying to get Ethan and JJ to leave. In all fairness, it was also JJ's flat, meaning I couldn't exactly force him to leave as quickly as I wanted him to. Eventually, everyone had gone, and I walked up to my room to find Harry hugging himself and scrolling on his phone, already tucked under a blanket. I smiled, not particularly for Harry to see, but just because he looked so wholesome, all cozy and contempt.
"I thought they would never leave," I said.
Harry looked up from his phone and snickered. He didn't say anything so I settled down beside him and put my arm around his shoulders. He adjusted himself so that his head was now resting on my chest. We sat in silence whilst I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him absentmindedly every now and then.
After a while he put his phone down and tilted his head up so that we were looking at one another.
"You ok?" I asked.
He hesitated for a second before murmuring "Was I too quiet when we were filming today?"
"No," I replied after a moment. "Do you think you were?"
"I don't know," He sighed. "I just wasn't in the mood today I guess."
"Thats fine, I mean we all have off days,"
He didn't respond.
"I promise nobody minds Harry. It's ok. Really."
"I just feel slightly..." He paused and started playing with the string on my hoodie. "..Guilty? I guess that's the right word."
"Guilty?"
"Well... yeah."
"Why?"
He opened his mouth to speak and then stopped. He thought hard for a few moments and then looked down at his lap.
"I just feel like I'm sort of disappointing everyone in some way. The fans want to be entertained. Like... isn't that why people watch me? Not just me actually, all of us. Our group."
"I suppose,"
"So I just feel like... I'm letting people down if I'm being boring."
I looked at him and neither of us spoke for a couple moments.
"I know it probably sounds really stupid-"
"Not at all."
"Really?"
"Really. Just know that nobody hates you for being quiet in a video, ok?"
"Ok," Harry smiled.
I pulled him into a hug. He had never really talked about his feelings. Actually, I don't think he'd ever properly talked about his feelings before then, and I felt incredibly honoured that he felt like he could talk to me. Maybe It was because we understood each other so well. I don't know. I just know that having even that rather small conversation was a huge step for him and I never wanted to move from where I was lying, Harry snuggled into me and happy.
