summary - Harry having a crush on Simon
Honestly, I don't even know when I realised I had developed feelings for my best friend.
Maybe because all of us had always been so close. We were all so affectionate and touchy with each other, maybe more so than other groups of friends. But it took a long time for me to realise that none of the other guys would get butterflies in their stomach when Simon looked over at them. None of the other guys wanted to touch Simon as much as I did. They didn't want to be kissed by him. Or held by him.
But I did. I could never get enough of him. Sometimes, when we would hug, I wished that I didn't have to let go, that I could stay like that forever. We just slotted together perfectly. He was so tall, but not like the way anyone else was, because hugging him was different. I had other tall friends sure, but none of them would ruffle my hair and then smirk down at me, like Simon did.
And none of my friends, short or tall, would ever be as observant as him. I still don't know how he always knew exactly when I was anxious or getting overwhelmed. Perhaps I just wasn't as good at hiding my feelings as I thought I was.
But it was always Simon before anyone else that noticed. I would start getting fidgety and he would either gently take my hand and lead me away from all the noise to calm down, or he would simply wrap one of his long arms around me and tell everyone to stop being so loud.
I think my feelings became more and more obvious to everyone else though. Actually, I remember going through the comments on a Moresidemen video, only to stumble across one with over 300 likes.
"Find someone that looks at you the way Harry looks at Simon at 14:27"
Simon had laughed at something, laughed properly, and it so rarely happened that of course I couldn't help but stare. If it was anyone else, it would have been a really adorable moment, but I didn't want this on YouTube. Anyone could watch this video, and they would see me stare at Simon for far too long. My feelings for Simon were to be kept private, not be made so explicitly obvious.
Then, only two weeks later I saw another comment with over 2k likes.
"Did anyone else see when Simon was hugging Harry in the background of Ethan talking?"
Sure enough, whilst Ethan was rambling on about how he planned to get back at or josh or something, Simon pulled me into chest and then whispered something that the camera didn't quite capture. I tilted my head up at him and smiled in a way that friends just don't. It was only a 7 second clip, yet anyone who didn't know who we were would probably assume we had been married for years.
....I kind of liked the idea of that though. But of course we were still friends at this point, albeit, extremely close friends, but friends nonetheless.
I think Tobi must have seen those comments because he started teasing me first. It was no secret that I wasn't 100% straight, but instead of simply making cheap jokes about me 'liking things up my bum', Tobi kept pointing out everything Simon did.
"Simon looks good today, doesn't he Harry?"
"How about we make Simon get naked as his forfeit, I'm sure someone would enjoy it."
"Simons got a new trim Bog, what do you think of it?"
He knew exactly what he was doing, every time I looked over at him confused he would wink and pat me on the shoulder. He kept the teasing subtle though, until JJ and Ethan caught on. They didn't even attempt to be subtle, although luckily Simon would just shrug off any comments about me. I was immensely grateful that he would ignore them when they started giggling, because I think I would have died on the spot if he started to entertain them.
That was until one night, when we all at Viks for his birthday. It was almost 4am at this point, and despite having a reputation for drinking, I was almost completely sober. I just didn't really feel like drinking after seeing Simon chatting to some pretty girl that I definitely couldn't compete with. Maybe I should have gotten drunk, I probably would have on any other night.
I was the only one who was not out of their mind, so I sat on Viks balcony, alone and admiring the view of London that went on for miles. Even this late at night, London was still very much awake.
I was out their for a long time before someone came and sat next to me. I didn't even need to turn my head to know that it was Simon. He didn't say anything and neither did I. It was a comfortable silence and I didn't want to be the one to break it.
"You didn't drink tonight." He said eventually.
"Unusual I know."
He smiled to himself and look down at the ground. He didn't say anything for a few moments.
"I drunk too much actually. Enough for the both of us."
"I watched you."
Silence.
"How did it go with that girl?"
He didn't answer immediately.
"I think she's off shagging Calfreezy right about now."
"Really?" I laughed.
"She preferred him to me, it's fine, she wasn't my type anyway."
"She was really pretty."
"I guess so."
Silence again.
"I'm sure there's other girls inside. One of them must be your type."
"I'm not interested in them."
"Wouldn't you rather be talking to a girl rather than me?"
"No."
I paused.
"You can talk to me whenever you want though."
"I like it that way. I like talking to you."
"I would hope so after how many years of being friends?"
I hesitated slightly before saying friends. It didn't really describe our relationship right, but then again I don't think any word would be able to describe how I felt about Simon.
"Well I really like being your friend Harry." He grinned.
"Friends. Yep."
He didn't respond for a bit.
"Only friends?"
I looked up at him in surprise. Did he.... was he implying we were more than friends?
"Well.. I don't know Minter."
It was impossible to read his expression. I wanted so desperately to believe what my gut was telling me, that he didn't say that accidentally. He must have known what he was insinuating.... right? A part of me was screaming that Simon was clearly drunk, he was speaking nonsense. I couldn't trust that he was telling the truth.
But the tone of his voice... the way he looked at me. I think this was what I was supposed to do.
Fuck it.
I leant in and our lips collided. I could taste the pink gin he had been sipping on all night and the tequila that had made him get so intoxicated. He froze for a fraction of a second before melting into me. He brought his hand up to my cheek, and kissed back far more passionately than I expected him to. He was a good kisser, and it didn't matter that he wasn't sober. We both knew how long we had been waiting for this.
I drew back, only for a second, to breathe and our eyes met. He pulled me back in and I could feel him smile as we deepened the kiss, my hands in his hair, his hands working their way down my body.
It was perfect.
a/n just letting everyone know that I'm quite busy atm so it could be a while before I update! However, I am of course open to requests, but they may take a little longer than usual :)
