Amethyst // BTS AU

"To Never Lose Anyone"

“To Never Lose Anyone”
2 Weeks Later

//

A large, grey cloud of doubt and uncertainty loomed over the Bangtan residence after Seokjin's shocking shooting.

It should never have happened, Namjoon had constantly repeated as he thought over the events leading up to the incident.

It was almost pitch-black that evening.

Namjoon and Yoongi had rushed to the black SUV with a calm Hoseok behind the steering wheel, ready to speed off. Namjoon had sworn that Seokjin was right behind him but as he turned back to yell out for his best friend, the dull clap of a gunshot rang through the air.

Silence.

Sickening, terrifying silence.

Without another thought or second of hesitation, Namjoon broke off into a sprint. With each large leap, Seokjin's limp body became closer and closer in Namjoon's line of sight. The world around him was still as he moved faster than he swore he ever had before in his life.

If he had just been a better leader, checked that everyone was following closely behind him, none of this would've happened, right?

Well, that was how he felt. And every night after the shooting, the sharp sound of the bullet and Seokjin's blood that spilled all over the car seats were all that Namjoon could see behind his eyelids.

He stopped sleeping all together, the near-death of someone so close to him reminding him of the passing of someone else that had also been very close to him: the passing of his older sister.

Namjoon was very young when it happened, no more than three years old –his sister just sixteen years old herself– but unlike many individuals in the world surrounding him, he had a vivid memory of everything that happened in his life; he especially remembered the traumatic events.

The sounds of her screaming and the way she begged for her life to be spared for the sake of her newborn baby all came back to Bangtan's leader in flashes. He was not supposed to have seen what he had seen or even be aware of the underground business that his family so heavily invested themselves in, but he did.

As just a toddler, Kim Namjoon had witnessed his first ever murder – almost a foreshadowing of his own life that was filled with the same sinful act over two decades later.

The whole house was soundly asleep, including a healing Seokjin in the basement, unaware of an anxious Namjoon. He sat back in his study-chair and stared at the familiar youthful image of his older sister in a frame on his hardwood desk.

It was a picture that was taken of her and Namjoon on her sixteenth birthday. Pink and silver coloured balloons floated above the head of the beautiful, older and taller girl in the picture while a young Namjoon was perched comfortably on her side. If he stared at the picture and concentrated hard enough, he could still feel the gentle way she held him up in her arms as if he were her own child, not little brother.

That was the last evening, Namjoon recalled, that he had seen her smile. Because later on that same evening, a scene of sorrow, desperation and grief was painted all using the blood of Namjoon's noona.