Who wouldn’t love to be dragged out of his comfy and warm home into the cold by their best friend? The answer is me because it was fucking freezing outside and all I was able to put on in the hurry was a pullover. “I hate you. You know that, right?” I asked my best friend Louis, who just grinned at me and bumped my shoulder which nearly made me run into a stranger. “Louis.” I warned him but he just laughed at me. It's always the same with him. I didn’t even know why I still bothered to be his friend. “Come on (Y/N). Smile a little. I'm going to buy you a coffee.” Louis looked at me with a fake pout and I couldn’t help the smile slowly forming on my lips as I mumbled: “You better are or you're getting nothing for your birthday and Christmas.” He looked at me shocked and now I definitely couldn’t hold my laughter back any longer. “You are a mean.” Was all he said before we turned the corner and entered our favourite café.
Finally on the same energy level as Louis I slung an arm around his body and asked smiling: “So where exactly are we going?” He returned the gesture by sliding his arm around my shoulder and I was grateful for the warmth he spent me by doing this. He nearly shouted the answer into my ear: “To the mall, we go!” My mood dropped instantly. The mall wasn’t exactly my favourite place to go to. Especially on December 24th when everybody was in a rush getting the last presents for their beloved ones. Couldn’t they do their shopping in time? Like he was reading my mind Louis added: “And I don’t accept no for an answer. It’s my birthday anyway so we're gonna do what I say no matter what.” I just groaned in defeat knowing Louis all too well as to start an argument right now.
We made it to exactly 3 shops before I noticed the whispering and silent screams. I was confused for a moment before it came back to me that Louis wasn’t just the funny lunatic from Doncaster. No he was the funny lunatic from Doncaster who was in a famous boyband. I always hated when stuff like that happened because it reminded me of the fact that he was just too good for me. We've been best friends since before the xFactor and we still are best friends years later. There is just one thing that changed as he left me here. I realised what he really meant to me and that I was falling. I was falling for my best friend. And I was falling hard.
We started running soon after that. Louis was tugging me along. Through the crowds of people and out of the mall onto a small side street. We stopped there to catch our breaths and for the first time today I was glad not to wear a jacket. After a minute Louis looked at me with a big smile: “That was fun.” “Says the one who lost a bag.” I said rolling my eyes. “Didn’t need that shirt anyway.” Was all he said before he started walking again.
An hour later we sat at the small Italian restaurant a few blocks away from my apartment. We used to come here every Saturday and share a pepperoni Pizza. The last time we did that was over a year ago and I bet he had forgotten our little tradition by now. So I picked up the menu for the first time in years to search for something different when an unsure voice, which didn’t sound like Louis at all, interrupted me. “Aren't we gonna share this time?” I lowered the menu just a little bit and looked at him in shock. He remembered. A warm feeling was spreading in my stomach while I just gave him a nod. The grin on his face was worth the horrible blush I felt spreading on my cheeks.
“Louis, I can pay for that. You paid the coffee this morning so it’s my turn.” “No, I’m gonna pay and now stop it!” We looked each other straight in the eyes. A competition was started, who would blink last would pay. It was always like that with us. We could argue over everything because we were two really stubborn people. And like in fifth grade we still solved our problems with a staring contest. My bad I was wearing lenses. So I found myself putting my wallet back in my pocket while Louis lay out the right amount of pounds and a nice tip on top before he looked back up at me. “Stop pouting (Y/N). The best part of my fame is not running away from screaming girls, it’s being able to spoil my loved ones. So stop complaining and come on! Froyo is waiting!” I stared at him for a moment. Did he just refer to me as loved one? My mind was running miles in a minute before I could stop myself and mumbled under my breath: “He meant it in a friendly way. We are just friends.”
That night I kept tossing and turning in my bed because I couldn’t find a comfortable position to lay in longer than 5 minutes. It may had to do something with my mind reviewing every single detail of the day or my thoughts going crazy about Louis and the past years with him. At 3 in the morning I finally told myself I should just get over it or confront him with it. My quiet pining obliviously was leading nowhere till now.
It was Christmas morning and I was staring at the little Christmas tree in my apartment. I was supposed to be at my parents’ in half an hour. But I didn’t want to leave so I just curled up in my blanked, sipped on my hot coffee and looked out of the window. I could watch the snowflakes one by one falling to the ground. It was beautiful to watch. At some point I got up after all and made it to my parents safely. But all I could think about was what I should do with Louis. “What’s up sweetheart?” I looked up at my mum who eyed me suspiciously. “Nothing. Just… nothing” I murmured. “Don’t lie to me. I can tell there is something or should I say someone. Isn’t Louis back in town?” I groaned involuntary. Mothers are too good at stuff like that. She just smiled at me reassuring while I told her my story.
I didn’t expect my mum to literally kick me out of my childhood home. But here I was standing again outside in the freezing cold. I slowly walked down the sidewalk thinking about what my mum had said. “Just tell him, darling. Better now than later. And don’t worry, everything will work out fine.” But how would she know? And how should I tell him?
I wasn’t looking were I was going. I wasn’t ready to face Louis and I didn’t want to sit at home alone. My feet just dragged me to the little park, Louis and I used to play in as kids. I sat down on one of the swings and just watched the snow falling. “(Y/N) what are you doing here?” I jumped at the voice. Looking up I saw nobody else but the reason I came here thinking. “Just thinking…” is all I mumbled. Louis chuckled lightly and sat on the swing next to me: “I can see that.” I couldn’t stop the smile forming while rolling my eyes. “What brought you out of your comfy home?” I returned his question and he shrugged his shoulders: “Just thinking.” He said that in a quiet voice which sounded so untypical for him. So I looked to my right to take a proper look at him. He gave me one of his half sided smiles and I felt my knees getting week.
We were looking us straight in the eyes for quiet some time. Now or never, is all I thought before I took a sharp intake of air. “Louis, I’ve got to tell you something.” My hands suddenly became much more interesting. Staring down in my lap I felt my throat closing up. I wasn’t ready to lose my best friend. “What’s up?” Louis voice sounded concerned and he waited for another minute before he put his index finger under my chin and lifted my face up again. I gulped down and closed my eyes for a moment before I started speaking again. Not more than a whisper left my lips: “Louis, I know we are just best friends for you but there is so much more in you for me. I wanna hold you tight at every given moment and I can’t stand you leaving me behind most of the time. And before you leave again and forget about me completely this time. I just had to tell you. I love you, Louis.” That was my cue to leave. Without looking at him I stood up and walked away. I felt the tears prickling at my eyes and threating to fall. I could hear Louis screaming my name and pleading me to stop. I just kept walking away, letting the first teardrop slide down my cheek.
A hand grabbed my arm and made me stop. I looked back and all I could see were his sky blue eyes. I shook my head and wanted to get away. But Louis’ grip just tightened and a soft smile played on his lips. He placed his free hand on my cheeked and held me in place as he slowly bent down. Our lips touched and I was shocked for a moment before I registered what was happening right now. The kiss was just wow. With our heads leaning against each other’s, keeping a close distance he mumbled: “How would I ever be able to forget you?”
