My Heart's in Alabama

18 - Matt

Talk of Homecoming is buzzing throughout every hallway in school. Honestly, I couldn't care less about the dance. I'm more focused on the game. I really want to win this one. Hutton hasn't won the Homecoming game in over three years. I hate losing. It's so embarrassing. And when it's the first home game of the season, it's like rubbing salt in the wound. There's nothing worse than getting your ass kicked in front of your entire town. Everyone is going to be at that game. Everyone. They'll get all excited and cheer us on just to get their dreams crushed and watch us fail.

"You okay over there, chief?" Sal laughs.

"Huh?" I say, breaking out of my own thoughts.

I look around the lunch table to see my friends all watching me and holding back smiles. I don't know what it is, but I definitely missed something.

"You're like, sitting over there all by yourself, scowling," Sal explains with a laugh. "Why don't you join the conversation?"

"Oh," I say and scoot myself closer to the group.

I guess I was kind of sitting far away. And I hadn't really been paying attention to what we were talking about. I don't even know what the conversation is. Got a little lost in my head there for a second. It feels like that's been happening a lot lately. I don't know what's wrong with me these days.

Feeling self-conscious, I lean into Kiersten and whisper, "was I scowling?"

Kiersten giggles and nods her head.

"Big-time," she says. "You were like -"

She turns to me and scrunches her face up in what I guess is supposed to be a mean scowl. It was an honest attempt, but Kiersten doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She's far too sweet to ever come close to intimidating. Watching her try sure is cute though. Seeing that adorable scrunched up bunny rabbit face makes me smile from ear to ear. I swear, sometimes she knows exactly what she's doing. There's no way she doesn't know how cute she is.

"Shut up," I say with a smile and nudge her gently.

"You asked," she shrugs and goes right back to munching on her PB&J sandwich.

Unable to tear my eyes away from her, I watch her lips move up and down as she chews, wishing more than anything that I could kiss her right then and there.

"Earth to Matthew," I hear Whitney snap her fingers.

I turn my head, slightly annoyed that I'm being pulled away from Kiersten. Although, it's probably for my own good. I have a feeling I might be flying too close to the sun.

"What?"

"I'm in a bit of a pickle and I need your opinion," she says. "Bobby Grey and Kyle Fisher both asked me to Homecoming and I don't know who to choose."

"Wait. What happened to Jeff?" I ask.

"Please, that is so over," Whitney scoffs with a wave of her hand.

Like I was supposed to know that. Two days ago she couldn't stop talking about the guy. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Whitney cycles through guys faster than a load of laundry.

"I don't know," I say. "Why does it matter what I think?"

"You're going to have to sit at the same table as whoever I pick at the dance," she says. "I was just being considerate."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that," I say. "I'm not going."

"You're not?" Whitney asks like she's shocked.

She really shouldn't be. She knows I hate dances. I didn't go last year, so I don't know why this year would be any different.

"No," I say. "Why would I?"