Tonight feels like a watercolour painting. All the colours blended together all diluted with water, spreading in every direction. Colliding creating new colours right under your fingertips. Tiny drops of paint placed randomly around the canvas. There is no sign of white to be seen. The colours of fall leaves drifting slowly to the ground. Reds, oranges, yellows and browns swirl around. Its kinda cold and quiet but thats okay. You get used to the silence and being alone doesn't seem so bad to me. Its how you spend it is the effect. You could spend it finding yourself or you could spend it thinking about every little flaw. Ive come to the conclusion that I'm a train wreck and everything in between. Sometimes I don't think giving up is that bad of a thing. Its like giving yourself a second chance to do something. Second chance wont leave you alone. I often think about the what ifs on nights like these. Theres a handful of moments I wish I could change but then there are ones Im glad I chose. You really do learn from your mistakes its whether you take that lesson and use it or not. Ive always been told to stay away from drugs but I didn't know they could have deep brown eyes and a heart beat.