Beyond the Walls

Chapter One: The Importance of Trust

"Just remember, Caroline. Every truth has the ability to be a lie. Nothing you believe is entirely correct."

"Then why trust at all, Mr. Jaeger?"

"That's the secret of life. One you will eventually learn when the time is right."

"When that time comes, how will I know?"

I remember the sad curl his lips adopted on his tired face before he spoke again. "When you begin to trust someone entirely, but hold that unexplainable discomfort. A discomfort that will not go away until the trust is broken. That is when you will know the moment has come."

"So, in order to understand why we trust... I must lose trust?"

"Precisely so, Caroline. But worry not. He who breaks your trust saves the world."

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I never really understood those words my teacher uttered to me on that seemingly normal day. Then again, he always said the strangest things. Mr. Jaeger always spoke of life beyond the walls; "I live a life in a world unlike any you could imagine," he often said with a smile. Hearing these words with my wildly expansive imagination, I felt almost offended by that claim. All I did in my spare time was paint a mental life different than the one I lead within the safety of these quiet and calm walls.

I desperately craved an escape from serenity.

Serenity.

It was what all assumed we had within wall Sina. There was no threat to our perfect lives. There was no worry about food on our tables. There was no care in the world. It was paradise. We were protected from all harm and negativity by the precise walls we worshipped. The only worry we had was whether we could bring pride to our elite family names. Who would be the man I would sell my life away to? All in the hopes of generating more wealth for my family; pride for my father and mother? Of course, I never had to worry about that personally. It was not a typical practice for the daughters of elite families to find their spouses, but instead, the burden rested on the shoulders of parents.

Daughters that came from exclusively elite homes were raised like prized livestock. They were fed only the highest qualities cuisines, garnished with the finest fabrics, decorated with the brightest jewels, educated as spinstresses and fair maidens. Why did a woman who would only be sold like a perfectly fattened livestock need education in anything else?

Yes, life in Wall Sina was extravagant. We were expected to remain silent unless spoken to. Expected to look as though we were perfectly crafted porcelain dolls, only allowed to smile and wave in the pitiful hopes anyone would take an interest in them. A delicate giggle, as they are told, would guarantee a successful life. A perfect display of rosy cheeks would guarantee a life of imaginable wealth and joy.

I wanted no part of it. I wanted to no longer allow anyone to decide my destiny or fate or successes. I wanted to feel the freedom that I saw those who wore the green capes had. Staring outside my bedroom window to see them all wearing their uniforms as though they had returned from an important mission in life. They all shared the same print of white and blue wings showing they flew beyond these walls and saw what possibilities humanity had. They saw there was more to this pathetic excuse of living.

I wanted those wings on my own back. I wanted to fly free from this beautifully decorated hell I called 'home'.

I was one of the lucky few girls that were allowed an education. I of course learned the basics of being a seamstress, how to cook, do the laundry, typical information for a future housewife. But the teacher I had taught me beyond that. I was taught to have an extensive understanding of medicinal plants and where I would find them. Many of them did not exist as he showed them to me. I only knew medicine as it was sold, manufactured if you will. Mr. Jaeger taught me the importance of understanding the beginnings of all things, even if it confused me more times than I understood. Especially when he spoke in metaphors and pure nonsense.

Most of the time when I would ask questions about his life and what he did, he would often change the subject. There were times where he would honestly explain to me what his role in society was. I learned he had a wife and a child, but nothing more than that. Ah, now that I think about it he did introduce me to another girl my age. He had told me she had been traveling alone without her parents. I don't quite remember her name, but she did live with the town's blacksmith. Father never let me interact with her. Father did not really enjoy Mr. Jaeger being my tutor, fueling my imagination, but Mr. Jaeger was a doctor you see, a highly respected one at that. My sister required constant attention for her illness and Mr. Jaeger was the only one willing to aid us. Why Father agreed to Mr. Jaeger doubling as my teacher as well, was a secret I never learned. But deep within my heart, I was thankful.

Mr. Jager also visited the king many times, and of course, never explained to me what he exactly did on these visits. It was strange. Although I struggled to understand him as a person I was still perfectly capable of knowing what he meant. As strange as it sounds, I like to believe he understood me as well. That he understood my desire to leave this cage. It was why he listened intently to my descriptions of my dream life. He never diminished my light. He never ridiculed me for wanting a new life. It was a refreshing feeling to know someone believed in me. Or perhaps instead knew there was more than this trophy life.

But, the last time we spoke was different than our typical lesson plan. His lesson in life did not appear clearly to me then and in all honesty, I still don't understand what he wanted me to learn. After telling me to learn about trust and "saving humanity", he simply smiled at me with his darkened eyes and continued with our lesson for that day. It was the last lesson I received from him and quite frankly we never heard from him again.

How could someone who breaks my trust save the world? I would ask myself this for the years to come after his sudden disappearance in 845. I never learned where he went, whether he was killed or held hostage somewhere for his knowledge. All that I learned around this time was that humanity was under a growing threat of extermination.

Word spread quickly of an attack within one of the three walls. The Titans, as they were called, had broken through and made their grandiose entrance. Evacuations were ordered. Countless lives were lost. Soldiers scrambled to save humanity from the clutches of ravenous and horrifying beings that lusted for the taste of human blood. At least, that is what we were told from the comfort and peace of our protected homes, of course. We had never seen such beasts before, nor did we ever have the desire to experience the "life of a peasant" as Father so fondly referred to them as.

But, that is not why I am telling my story this way. In fact, my life as an elite has very little importance. All that truly matters is I escaped that life. I craved an adventure and I found it. However, along with finding my adventure, I found the answer to the final lesson from Mr. Jaeger.

"When you begin to trust someone entirely, but hold that unexplainable discomfort. A discomfort that will not go away until the trust is broken. That is when you will know the moment has come. But worry not. He who breaks trust saves the world."

It would seem in order to go beyond the walls, I would need to skewer the truth. And break someone's trust.

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