Deadly tendencies (fuenciado)

Day 9

I can't do this.

I can't face you.

I don't want to see your eyes and drown in them. I don't want your eyes to look into mine and notice the dullness. I don't want our eyes meeting again.

I can't.

You told me you'd see me soon. But I don't think you meant it.

But when I said I love you, god knows I meant it.

So I've decide I'm going to start getting out of the house more.

No one else. Just me.

And I'm starting today.

-

It's 11:34pm now. I was out all day.

I went to the coffee shop, a few fans came up to me and I let them sit with me because I wasn't in a hurry.

It felt good to make someone's day.

After coffee with those girls and the guy, I got in my truck and headed towards the sea.

I did it off of impulse, I'm glad i did.

I didn't have a specific destination. And I liked it that way.

I found side roads and started to turn down random smaller roads.

Eventually one lead me to the ocean.

There wasn't anyone on the stretch of beach I had discovered so I parked on the side of the road and walked down to the beach.

I took off my vans, enjoying the feeling of sand between my toes.

I watched the waves crash on the shore.

Eventually I left.

I came home.

I'm here now, using a pen I found in my car.

I miss you.

But I know you're busy missing some girl who left you heartbroken.

Yea, mike told me she left you.

I felt bad for you.

But you deserve it.

You deserve to know what having pain inflicted on you by someone you'd die for feels like.