Deadly tendencies (fuenciado)

Day 10

I know what it's like now.

I know what it's like to love someone who will never love me right.

But you fucking called me.

My heart almost burst at the sight of your name on my caller ID.

And my eyes almost started spilling tears when I heard your voice.

You told me "soon is now."

You hung up.

My heart pounded knowing that I'd get to see you. I waited.

I heard a knock on my front door. I opened it to find you with red eyes and a puffy face.

I opened the door wider for you to come in.

You engulfed me in a hug. You smelled like alcohol and your neck was drenched in sweat.

You closed the door and looked at me with eyes that i had never seen in that light before.

I almost saw, guilt.

I still remember the exact words you said to me.

'Jaime I hope you're drunk right now and I hope you forget I ever came here but I want you to know I love you too.

I love you and I know it's wrong. I'm supposed to love a girl. But I love you and your stupid dimples and your spikey hair and your dumb laugh and those horrible feet.

I love all of it.

And I won't ever let you love me back.

And I'm so fucking selfish.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

And you were gone.

I never got to defend the odor of my feet or how my dimples are cute or how my hair isn't that bad or how my laugh isn't dumb.

Because you left.

I didn't follow you.

I didn't want to.

Because I knew it would only bring me more pain.

So I'll sit here. Crying my eyes out, hoping that you one day you will just let me love you right.

Let me love you how soulmates are supposed to love.

Because, fuck when I'm with you I can't think straight and my lungs forget to function and my mouth doesn't say things.