When I was little I had the best life. Even though my parents were divorced, I loved life; my mom told me when I was little I was always happy and had a smile on my face. I wish I was that girl again, a happy spirit that loved and cared about everything. That happy spirit disappeared when I was 9 everything changed from there. It seemed as if It was meant for me to have a great but difficult life as a teenager. God thought I could handle it he thinks I'm strong and confident to get through something like this. Now my dad is partly the reason I'm like this the other half is myself. I blame myself and my dad for being in this bad state. The things that keep me going are my family, friends, and music. Oh and my grandma she kept me happy she kept that tiny spark of happiness going inside me. She never failed to cheer me up or to make my day better. She was my good luck charm until she passed, September 26,2011 that is when my little sparkle of happiness disappeared there was no more happiness left inside me it was basically sucked out of me. I'm depressed and i can't deny it. I've been depressed for so long that I've became permantely depressed nothing will break me from that. Its kinda an addiction you've been depressed for so long that u become immune to it. It's almost like drugs or alchol and all things can be fixed but it's hard to. It takes over ur body. Another thing is love, I don't have any energy for love. Besides I don't think I will ever be loved ever.
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HEAL ME
Fanfiction"She thought she would never be healed or loved but once someone came into her life all that changed. But little did she know that someone was always in her life."
