Summer of '93 - Stozier

59

Stan didn't wait on Bill getting back from the festival that night, it was already 12:30am by the time he slipped out of the Denbrough house, both of Bills parents already asleep.

He'd arrived back at his current place of residence a short time after Richie had took off, asking Stan not to tell anyone he was leaving Derry. He'd do that on his own time.

All the lights were out in the Tozier house when Stan arrived at the front lawn, except the small desk lamp emitting a faint glow from inside Richies bedroom window.

Stanley knocked on the door in a pattern, and waited. After a few minutes of no response, he knocked again. Once again, no one answered the door.
He sighed quietly and crouched down, lifting up the welcome mat and taking the spare key from under it.

Richie was in his room, he hadn't left it since coming back from the festival. He was laying on his back, hands folded on his stomach as music played through his walkman. His eyes were closed and the only sign that he was awake was his occasional humming to the tune of the songs.

He felt the bed dip beside him and slowly opened one eye, turning his head to the side to see Stan laying there, looking up at the ceiling, arms folded behind his head.

Richie lifted his head a little, taking off his headphones and leaving them around his neck.

Stan kept his gaze on the ceiling, sighing quietly. "Are you gonna come back..?"

Richies face dropped a little, turning his head back to look up again. "Dunno." He shrugged. "I mean, would you?"

He shook his head. "This towns a shithole."

Richie hummed in agreement, tapping his fingers against his stomach. They fell into a silence which was neither uncomfortable or comfortable. "Come with me." He suggested, a little hesitantly.

Stan turned his head to look at Richie, Richie doing the same. "To Georgia?"

He nodded.

"You're not serious, are you?" Stan laughed in disbelief.

"You don't want to?" Richie asked.

Stanley opened his mouth, thought for a second, and closed it again, shaking his head. He huffed out a sigh. "I- hm- Its not that... I do. I want to. I would go with you if i could-"

"Whats stopping you?"

"School? for a start?"

Richie shrugged. "Finish school in Georgia."

"Rich, you know my parents would never allow it.." Stan turned on his side, propping his elbow up on the pillow and leaning his head against his hand.

"Your mom would.."

"My dads a prick."

"Tell me something I don't know." Richie laughed quietly, remembering his parents asleep in the next room over.

"That'd be a very long list and i'm not sure you have the time."

"Oh, fuck off!" He scoffed, looking over at Stan, who was smiling, and rolling his eyes.

Stan laughed a little as Richie broke into a smile. He instinctively glanced down at his lips for a second, clearing his throat and throwing himself back onto the pillow in embarrassment before Richie could see him blush.

"Hey, what was it that you wanted to tell me earlier?" The other boy asked, already putting an end to the short, awkward silence.

"Huh?" Stan hummed in response, still trying to stop his heart from beating out of his chest.

"At the festival? Before I interrupted you, you said you wanted to tell me something."

"Oh.." He gulped, feeling as if now wasn't the time to admit that he'd told a guy that Richie had a boyfriend, and that the boyfriend was Stanley himself, out of jealousy. In hindsight, that was a little selfish of him, considering he'd be too much of a pussy to actually act on his own feelings, but whats done is done, ain't no going back now. "'S not important."

"You sure? seemed pretty important at the time."

"Im sure."

Stan turned to face Richie again, this time sitting up. Richie followed suit, both boys now sitting opposite of each other, legs crossed, close enough that their knees were almost touching, much thanks to the small bed.
The taller one of the two, nervously fidgeting with his hands, lifted his head to look at Richie, only making eye contact for a split second, before glancing off to the side. "Uh.. actually.. there's um.. yeah, there's something else I wanna tell you."

"Shoot." Richie nodded for him to continue. "Whats buggin' ya, buckeroo?"

Stan looked back down at his hands, and then back off to the side. "I don't.. really know how to say this..? but.. i'm gonna try my best, so just keep quiet and hear me out."

Richie nodded again, slower this time, trying to read Stans facial expression.

"Ok.. um.. You know i'm not good with feelings. I never have been, and I probably never will be. Shit, I figure i've probably missed my chance, but its now or never, right?"

"Stan, wh-"

"I like you. Like, I like like you.. I have for.. God knows how long.. and the reason why I didn't tell you when I had the chance was because i'm fucking stupid, okay? I- I was confused for a really long time.. I didn't know or- or understand any of it.. I mean- I knew there was a different type of.. connection..? between us or whatever- God, I sound so stupid- um.. but.. I guess.. I just chose to ignore it? Um.. I think.. I finally started to uh.. realise it when I saw you and Eds that one time? Um.. Thats all I have to say.."

Richie stayed quiet, and Stan didn't dare to meet his gaze. He didn't know if it felt good to get that off of his chest, or if his chest was about to collapse in on itself any minute now.

"Oh..."

"Im sorry I didn't tell you sooner.. I know you said you're over it, but I had to say something."

"I never.." Richie let out a shaky breath, fidgeting with his hands, his eyes rapidly flicking around the room to avoid eye contact. "I never stopped liking you.."

Stans head shot up so fast he was fairly certain he'd broken his neck. "But- you said-"

"I lied." Richie shrugged. "I was embarrassed. I- I never got over it. I tried to, believe me, I did.. but.. its just so hard when- i mean- you're you and you're always around! I- I don't know, man!"

"Wait.. so.. you still..?" Stan furrowed his eyebrows so hard they could be mistaken for a unibrow, unable to finish his sentence.

"Yes!" Richie huffed, throwing his hands in the air, exasperated.

"Oh."

"Oh.."

Stan cleared his throat, glancing over to the window and then back at Richie. "Uh.. so.. what now?"

"Im gonna be honest with ya, Stanny.. I have no fuckin' clue."

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lauv confession
too scared to write a kiss so shut up and deal with it