Summer of '93 - Stozier

24

"Fuck."

Richie buried his face into his hands, mentally cursing at his stupidity.

"..What?" Maggie furrowed her eyebrows, pulling her hand away from her sons back. Richie didn't reply for a few seconds.

"I said.. what they're saying.. its true." His voice was muffled by his hands.

"Richard, take your hands away from your face."

Richie inhaled deeply, dropping his hands from his face and keeping his gaze on the floor.

Maggie put her hand under his chin and lifted his face to look at her. "What do you mean 'Its true'? Are you..?" She trailed off.

Richie nodded, avoiding his mothers gaze.

"..Are you sure?" She asked, dropping her hand from his chin.

"Yep." Richie nodded again.

Maggie took his hand. "How long have you known?" She ran her thumb along the knuckles of Richies hand.

"Um.. four years..? I think." He shrugged.

"Well then," Maggie pulled her hand away and sighed. "So what if what they're saying is true? Henry Bowers is a twenty year old man who still bullies children for fun! You can't let his words effect you, sweetie, cause sooner or later, that bitch is gonna be rotting in the loony bin while you're travelling all over the world doing fuckin'.. comedy shows.-"

"Language." Richie snorted.

"Sorry, sweetie." Maggie chuckled. "But you get my point, right? You are so much better than him. He's gonna rot in hell."

"I thought the gays go to hell?" Richie joked.

"Gods gonna get an earful from me before he even considers sending my baby to hell for liking boys."

"Thanks mom, that really means a lot." Richie laughed.

"Enough of the sarcasm, young man! You are definitely your fathers boy." She shook her head.

"I think I get that from you, mom." Richie smiled.

"You do not." Maggie gasped, acting offended.

Richie shook his head, rolling his eyes with a smile.

It was quiet for a few minutes.

"So.. you're gay, huh?" Maggie spoke, still running her thumb over Richies knuckle. "Im guessing that means no grandchildren?"  She joked, shoving Richies shoulder lightly with her own.

Richie rolled his eyes again, smiling. "Hey! I-I could.. I dunno, adopt!" He shrugged.

"I was joking, sweetie." Maggie smiled, standing up. "But if you do, you better raise them as catholic." She kissed his head and walked over to his bedroom door.

"In your dreams, Maggie!" Richie joked, flopping backwards onto his pillow.

"If you don't, I will!" She said and left, closing the door behind him.

Richie closed his eyes for a second, before he heard the door open again. He lifted his head and saw his mom peek her head back in. "So.. D'you want me to tell your dad or are you gonna do it?"

Richie thought for a second. He could never really be serious talking to his dad, it was just their thing, to joke. "You-.. You tell him? Please?"

"Okay." Maggie nodded. "Okay, I'll tell him. Chicken for dinner." She said and left, closing the door behind her, again.

Richie closed his eyes again, reaching under his pillow and pulling out a teddybear. He held it to his chest. It was a blue bear with white ears and paws, it had googly eyes and a red tongue that stuck out. It also had a small yellow, orange and red rainbow over the middle of its stomach. Stan had won it for him at the Derry Canal Days Festival when they were fifteen. The rest of the losers were out of town that day, Bill having speech therapy, Eddie visiting his aunts in Bangor, Bev being in Portland with her aunt for the week, and Mike and Ben visiting the Abbe Museum in Bar Harbour. Richie could remember popping one of the three balloons with his darts and Stan laughing about how bad his aim was. 'You try it then, Birdbrain!' Richie had huffed in defeat. He'd watched with his arms crossed, pouting like a little kid and rolling his eyes every time Stan would pop the balloons with the three darts. He'd remembered him trying not to smile while Stan jumped around clapping because he'd won the bear. Richie had called him a cheater as they walked towards the slushie stand. 'You're just jealous.' Stan had rolled his eyes and gave him the bear. 'You have it, I don't want it.' Stan laughed as Richie had copied Stan from a few minutes ago, jumping around in excitement, hugging the bear to his chest. He'd kissed Stans cheek and said something in a british accent while Stan pushed him away, rolling his eyes once again.

After that day, they'd made it a tradition to go to the Carnival every year the week it came to Derry, making sure to get away from the other Losers and go to the Balloon Pop stand.

Richie hadn't realised he had begun to cry again until he felt the hot tears drip dow by his ear. "Fuck." He muttered, wiping his eyes under his glasses. He thought about Stans words, and Patricias, and about how Stan had done nothing but laugh when she had called Richie a 'worthless fagboy'.

"Shes not wrong.." Richie muttered to himself before squeezing his eyes shut and sniffling. "No, shut up! You're just making yourself cry. Stop it!" He mumbled, wiping his still flowing tears.

Richie heard a knock at his bedroom door and quickly wiped his tears, sitting up. "Yeah?" He called out, still hugging his bear to his chest.

The door opened and Bill walked in.

"Oh." Richie muttered. "Its you."

"Yeah. Ed-Eddie wanted to apoh-pologise." Bill shrugged.

"So he sent you?" Richie asked, sniffling.

"N-no hes here- hah-have you been crying?" Bill furrowed his eyebrows.

"No, i'm just allergic to sadness." Richie said sarcastically, chuckling. "Wheres Eds.." He sighed.

Eddie slowly walked into the room, biting his nails with his head down.

Richie patted the spot beside him on the bed. Eddie and Bill both walked over and sat down.

"Sorry, Richie." Eddie muttered. "I didn't mean to say that in front of everyone."

"S' fine, Eds-"

"Don't call me that."

"S' fine, Eddie spaghetti, doesn't matter.." Richie smiled, hugging his bear tightly.

Eddie dropped his head onto Richies shoulder. "You sure?"

"Yep. 'S my fault, anyway. We all know you can't keep a secret."

"I can!" Eddie gasped, acting offended. "No one knows i'm g-" His eyes flashed over to Bill for a second. "Great at.. running.."

"Ev-everyone knows that eh-Eds." Bill smiled, rolling his eyes.

"Im sorry for not believing you, Eddie.." Richie whispered after a while.

"So you do now?" Eddie asked.

"Experienced it firsthand so, yes.." Richie nodded.

"W-what?" Bill furrowed his eyebrows. "H-He puh-punched you too?"

"Uh-uh." Richie shook his head. "Called me a.. fairy and a fag.. and he just.. laughed at me..? while i cried..?"

"Asshole." Eddie muttered.

"Hey!" Richie elbowed him, covering his bears ears. "Not in front of snowball!"

"You cal-called your bear 'snowball'?" Bill laughed.

"I was fifteen, shut up."

"Fifteen!" Eddie screeched, laughing.

"Shut up!" Richie covered both of their mouths. "I really hate you guys."

"Love you too!" They both replied, their voices muffled by Richies hand.

•*•*•*•*•*•*•

😌✌️✨