Fantasies

If the World was Ending

Shawn and Camila had been broken up for some time now.  Their long awaited love affair was one for the ages.  The classic tale of a man enamored by a woman to the point that if he played his cards right, he'd get the girl of his dreams.  And, for awhile he did.  When he was with Camila he was on top of the world.  So amazed that he had finally gotten everything he ever wanted.  He loved her so much it hurt him.  She was his obsession.

When it started to fall apart he was too caught up on the lust and passion of being together to see that Camila was merely going through the motions.  She wasn't happy.  She wasn't the person she wanted to be around the one man that she'd spent the better part of her life running away from.  Running away from in the sense that her feelings for him were too strong to be ignored, but too desirable to follow through with for the longest time because she wasn't sure if his ego would allow for a capable love that she craved.

In a way; she was right.  The Shawn he was when they were together had an ego bigger than the sun and although she loved him to the ends of the earth, he was so caught up in having it all, he failed to realize that she was slowly losing herself in the process.  More than her relationship with Shawn, Camila had always been fiercely independent.  She prided herself for so long on not needing a man by her side to make her happy, to pleasure her; to give her what she thought she was missing.

Sharing a love for the same things is what brought them together, but it's also what tore them apart. Shawn was a wildly popular musician in a traveling band, and although Camila was okay with being one of the groupies, watching her boyfriend on stage made her crave the lime light even more. She never despised him or was jealous of him; but he never vocally supported her goals of doing the same thing. Little did she know that he did support her, he just couldn't face the music so to speak when she would express an interest in singing on her own; or singing for other people at all. It was part of his ego. The part that crushed them.

On the day they broke up, she cried her heart out until she had nothing left. She'd listened to him tell her sincerely that he supported her and would support her however he could if she wanted to sing on her own. He had seen the songs she wrote and knew she had a keen eye for anything and everything music; but it wasn't enough. She had spent the entirety of their relationship watching him be successful and loving him from the sidelines. When they were in love, they were in love, but when they fought; it might be world ending. Nothing physical ever happened during their fights, but some things they said, you just couldn't take back. Parts of her thought as she finally said the words "I'm leaving you. I can't do this anymore" that the timing of their love was all wrong. She tried so hard to wrangle him in and she was tired of it all. She wanted to be her independent self again. Call it selfish but loving someone like the Shawn Mendes she knew wasn't easy.

Over the year they were apart she worked on her own music, she took vocal lessons all the while keeping tabs on the man she once loved. She had made connections with two famous musicians, Julia Michaels and JP Saxe. They had just written a hit after announcing their status as a couple. "If the World was Ending" was a huge success over the summer that year and after it had died down a little Camila got the okay to sing it as part of her regular set at the local cafe in town. She loved singing at the cafe and although she did get paid, that's not why she did it. She was finally getting to live out her dreams and share her passion.

But something was missing.

After a year, she still missed the curly haired boy that loved her like no one ever had. She'd heard through the grape vine that he hadn't dated again and neither had she. It was almost like although they were apart, they still had something keeping them together.

Over the last year Shawn watched her from the sidelines. When he was in town, which was more frequently since the breakup, he would sit in the shadows and watch the videos posted on YouTube of his ex lover singing her heart out. He was so proud of her, but his heart broke when she sang Julia and JP's song. When he heard from them that she asked to sing it, he was crushed. He knew that she could throw any emotion into a song and listening to her sing that song almost ended him. He realized as he started working more on himself after being left that his ego is what ruined them. He loved her. He still loves her and he knew that she wasn't dating and he couldn't bring himself to date either. His heart was only meant for her.