Fantasies

She Loves Control

Shawn's POV

Camila Cabello.

I've been secretly after her since the moment I knew she existed. I wouldn't call us friends, or even acquaintances, but we know who each other are. When I first met Camila, we were in our first day of music theory class on campus. The shy, gorgeous Latina I remember sitting next to that first day quickly captured something inside me I can't even explain; all I know is, she can have all of me if she wants to because I can't seem to shake her from my mind.

For months I tried to flirt with her, ask her to dinner, offer to help her with assignments; anything I could think of to even take up one more second of her time. Every time she turned me down, told me she was too busy or simply didn't give me a response. She would just smirk at me, chuckle a little before walking away; making sure to sway her hips a little extra as she no doubt knew I was watching that fine ass walk away from me.

After what left like thousands of rejections, I finally took the hint she wasn't interested in me and attempted to smother the feelings I had for her, tried to bury them deep inside; only for them to come back hotter than ever.  They burned like an inferno inside me and the more I tried to put it out, the worse it got.

I tried everything in the book I could think of. Note to self: saying another girls name while in the heat of passion; not a good idea. I think I have a permanent hand print on my cheek the number of times I accidentally said Camila's name while coming, thus getting slapped afterward as the girl leaves my room, clothes in hand.

So much for forgetting her..... and so much for it being a secret.

Camila's POV

It's not that I don't like Shawn Mendes. In fact I think he's incredibly smart and devilishly handsome. He's nothing but kind and sweet to me and that's so different from any of the guys I've ever been around.  He tries to offer to help me with assignments for the many classes we have together, but little does he know I'm the smartest music major in our class.  I would never stoop so slow as to pretend I need help just to spend time with someone like Shawn. It would belittle both of us.

The problem is... I don't want to ruin him.

You see, the thing about me is.... I love control. I want things done my way. People, men specifically don't stay in my life unless they are willing to give up their control and let me take over.  It's as simple as that. I've ruined almost every guy I've been with. One touch is all it takes. One kiss, one dance wrapped around each other's bodies and it's all over. They come back to me begging like dogs with their tongues hanging out, and quite frankly it's disgusting. I don't use any of them; I just make it extremely hard for them to be with me; therefore ruining them for the next girl in line. They still want to be the man of the relationship, and I'm too stubborn to relinquish my own control, I don't ever stay because they never want to give up control.  I haven't found someone yet that's worthy of me stepping off my self proclaimed pedestal to give up my control.

The other thing about me.... I don't do relationships. I've been cheated on too many times to count when I was younger and didn't realize what self love was yet. Now that I love myself and take care of myself better than anyone else can do for me, I don't depend on some guy to give me what I need or want.

Then there's Shawn. Sweet, innocent Shawn Mendes. I'm sure if things were different, he'd be someone I'd be all over. Turning him down actually hurts sometimes because I want to deserve someone like him, but I don't think I can risk it. No one has been able to handle me since I've changed. No one ignites a fire in my bones that makes me want to settle down.

I've heard rumors about Shawn sleeping with other girls at our college, saying my name during sex. Whoops! Who's gonna tell the poor guy that's not a good idea and makes for a horrible bed mate?!