𝓢𝓽𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓭 𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵!

C24 The spider & the fly

(Warning: This chapter is rated M :) )

I sat down at Dumbledore's desk as my head began to pound, each memory flashing in my mind making me feel more bitter and confused than the last. How could he do this to me?! How could I.. Have let this happen?.. I groaned and held my head with both hands. I went to the stairs, whispered the password once more, and exited. I knew I would be back but for now, I'd go back to the hospital wing. I laid down in bed until my eyes kept threatening to close from exhaustion. "Ms. Black. It's time to wake up." A voice sounded. "No..." I said my voice cracking. "Raylona... You've slept all morning, it's one and you need to eat..." The grumpy voice sounded. My head spun and my stomach lurched, hot fluid rushed up my throat and I fell face-first onto the floor trying to reach the trash can. I let it out and tried to catch my breath after my hurtful and embarrassing awakening. I groaned and my stomach lurched again. I felt a firm hand on my back, it rubbed in soft strokes. "Professor? What are you doing?" He tensed. "I.. thought it might help you... Sorry." He moved and I sighed.

After a moment I sat back on the bed and noticed he had a tray of food. "Eat, then you may sleep some more." He ordered and for once I obeyed without question. It was a simple chicken noodle soup. "Thank you." I whispered after I was done and laid back down I felt Shakey. "Do you need me to get Pomfrey?" He stood up from the chair he was sitting in. "No, I just need some more rest." He nodded and without another word, I fell into a deep sleep as he left the hospital wing or at least that's what he thought. I stopped shaking and sat up my heart racing. How do I begin to accept what has happened? To bring it up? Should I bring it up? Should I just.. let him go? He so easily gave up on me, he took my memories. How am I going to be able to eat with him every day? Three times a day? Maybe I should take the risk of being poisoned again. Or somehow I could use what I know to my advantage. I sighed deeply. I was weak and confused.

I thought about it all for a moment more. I had options. Choices. I could:

Play dumb & see how it plays out. Use it to my advantage & get some revenge. Or I could do both.

I could play dumb about everything and get a bit of revenge for everything he's put me through. Nothing drastic, nothing that would risk his career or life. Maybe a prank. I wasn't sure yet but I knew I had to do something.

I sighed deeply and tried to fall back to sleep. I was almost back out when I heard someone come in through the doors and whispering voices. I heard their feet shuffle and then their words become harsh whispers. "What did you do to her?!" One said. "I did what I thought was necessary. She had it coming." One scoffed. "I can't believe you would do this! You used me! She could have died!" The voice was starting to rise. "Yes, that was the point of poisoning her!" Another scoff came. "I'm going to report you, Jackson!" A sigh followed and then a muffled scream. I couldn't turn around and see what had happened. I was paralyzed with fear. "You will not do anything and if you do, I'll kill you myself. I heard a whimper. "Now, I'm going to come up with another plan and you will help me." I heard the door open again and heard footsteps trail off. I laid there, heart pounding, and then I sat up.

What do I do? I started to panic and then I started to hyperventilate. My chest hurt and it felt like there was a hole going through me from my chest to my back. Jackson was trying to kill me. Jackson was trying to kill me. JACKSON WAS TRYING TO KILL ME.

I grabbed my things and headed to the room of requirements. I needed a safe haven. I needed a moment completely alone where I could breathe. I stopped just as I was about to enter. Wait, Umbridge found this room and Harry was busted... I turned right around and headed for Dumbledore's office. I was still panicking, tears were starting to stream down my face. I started to run. I ran faster. I didn't even notice how out of breath I was. "Ms. Black?" I heard Snape's voice but I didn't stop, I didn't want to stop. Not until I was safe. I ran up to the stone eagle, I whispered the password and climbed the steps but as soon as I stepped into the room someone caught my wrist. I turned around as the steps disappeared. "You figured out the password." Snape's eyes narrowed. "Let me go." I said, literally breathless. He released my wrist. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" I put my things on Dumbledore's desk. "I know who tried to kill me. They came into the hospital wing and made the mistake of having the conversation within earshot. They must have thought I was sleeping... One planned it and the other didn't know about it and is now being threatened if she backs out of it or tells on him." I took deep breaths. "Who did it, Raylona?" I shook my head. "Who did it?!'' I sat down on a chair. "Jackson Avery.. but there's no proof. Umbridge will assume I'm lying. Professors can't do anything without proof. It's my word against his and what's worse is Wednesday is involved. She didn't know and was being used by Jackson, he threatened... To harm her too if she went to a professor with what she knew." Snape walked over and got down on his knees in front of me. "You can't blame Wednesday... Jackson... He's lost..." I choked out. "Don't make excuses for the monster." I locked eyes with him and it was completely silent, it was uncomfortable or awkward. It was peaceful. I found myself leaning forward, his lips too slow to spill the words that danced on his tongue as I placed a gentle kiss on his lips. His body was rigid and paralyzed almost until he started to kiss back. What was I doing? I didn't know. I didn't care. I had his memories and my feelings. I needed him.

I broke it off and slowly made eye contact. He was like a deer you had to be careful on approaching or he'd take off or his mood would swing in a quick second. "I'm sorry sir..." I uttered. "I'm so- so-" I started to lose it, I felt a pressure around my throat like giant hands squeezing the air out of me until tears spilled and I was left nearly hyperventilating in front of the one person I loved, with probably all of me and what hurt worse was he had wanted me to forget. He didn't want me. He didn't care. No one did. I was.. alone...

I held my breath and looked at my feet, silently tears still fell until they came to a halt. "Don't be sorry. I'm... erm..." I looked up at Severus. "I'm the one who should be. I should have kept a closer eye on him. I should have protected you... I... " I slid off the chair and onto my knees in front of him. "I know. I know you obliviated my memories. I know... you want me gone..." He shook his head no. "That's what you gathered from that? You stupid girl... Sure, I was being incredibly selfish and I shouldn't have let my jealousy get the better of me or the fear of being caught. I should have talked to you, I should have tried. I should have been there." His voice filled with different emotions. He put both hands on my face gently. "I am truly so sorry Raylona, I want to fix this, possibly us. I know right now isn't the best time but maybe later on... I don't know..." It was the most I had heard him ramble and the most sentences I've heard with different varying emotions. My heart was jumping and leaping with joy but I still felt like I had a big gaping hole where my heart was as well. I didn't know where to go from here. "I'm scared Severus, I'm so scared...'' He pulled me into a tight hug. "I know and from now on... I'll be here. I.. Dont want to lose you, stupid girl." I thought I felt his lips turn into a smile. "You sure? I can still transfer to another school." He rubbed my back. "I'm sure." I looked up at him. "Promise me, you won't do anything like that to me again." He nodded his head. "I promise." He whipped the tears from my eyes and kissed me. ''I was so scared I had lost you forever, the guilt I felt... I don't want to ever feel like that again.'' I kissed him hard. ''I missed you so much.'' He said between kisses. ''Severus.'' I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled as he lifted me up and put me on his lap. ''Raylona.'' I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held my back, his hands slowly moving down to my butt. ''We shouldn't do this here...'' He murmured. ''We won't be found here...It's the one place I can think of that's still safe. I just want to feel safe Severus.'' I moaned in his ear and he groaned when I started grinding on his lap. He picked me up off the floor, my legs going around his waist. He sat me down on Dumbledore's desk and started unbuttoning my pants and I started undoing his. Soon as they were out of the way he was inside me, and I was pressed against him and moaning loudly. Who could hear me now? He pounded into me like like a jack hammer, his mouth found my nipple and I pulled his hair. I bit into his neck and he bit down on my nipple. ''Fuck me.'' I whispered and he growled. He slid two fingers into my ass and I cried out, digging my nails into his back. ''Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm cumming! I'm cumming!'' He grunted and pulled out, cumming on my stomach. He helped clean me up and we laid down on the rug together. 

We talked a bit more and before I knew it I had calmed down. With testing coming up we had decided to just test the waters I suppose. Nothing serious until a year or two. He'd be there for me and I, him. What more could I ask for? I felt better, I know he did too. I know earlier I was thinking of ways to bring it up or not bring it up or against him but I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad it happened this way. I'm sad I had to be poisoned and almost died for him to realize he didn't want to lose me but yeah it seemed to work out. I would continue to eat with him until I felt ready to rejoin everyone. I don't think I'll be ready for a while since I'll be able to see him every day, alone.

He walked me back to the hospital wing and stayed until I fell asleep. I partially had woke up to find him asleep in the chair next to me. please let me be happy. Please let this go right. Please. Please. Pleaseeee. I begged inside my head with my eyes closed tightly and my fingers crossed. I just needed something to go right. Anything to go right.