𝓢𝓽𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓭 𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵!

C52 Beautiful memories

"What if they don't like me?.." I had said softly to Dumbledore. "They'll love you." Dumbledore reassured me. I faced the Ravenclaw table where other excited first years talked away. The noise from the great hall had made my ears hurt. I went to sit with the rest of my house, staring up at the professor's table. A scary dark-haired man stared at me before scoffing. It was the first time I had seen him. The terrifying Professor Snape. My attention was snapped back to the table over one thing or another. I had been nervous about my first year at school. Shy.

The next day Snape made sure to not take it easy on me. He had looked down that hooked nose of his to sneer at me. "What potion do you get when you mix these ingredients together?" He placed his hands on the desk, eyeing me. "Powdered root of asphodel, infusion of wormwood, valerian root, sopophorous bean, sloth brain, moon dew, and flower head?" I shook my head slowly, feeling the panic growing. "I- I don't know sir." He stood upright. "How disappointing." Sadness had hit me. "How about... Two drops of Lethe river water, two valerian sprigs, and four mistletoe berries?" He stared into my soul, so it felt like it the time. "Forgetfulness potion, professor." His brows went up as if he hadn't expected me to know. "Five points to Ravenclaw."

I beamed up after that. Happy that I had gotten it correct. He looked down at me, not just because I was younger but because he looked down upon me like I was the dirt of the earth and that made me sink back into the place I had been in before. He seemed to be content with the way he made others feel. Maybe that's the way he felt inside. Maybe he's just a git.

The next year was more or less the same. The same people, the same professors, and the same attitude as Snape. Third-year I had tried to bring him some snacks, to try to maybe sate his seeming hatred of everyone. I mean, what could it hurt? He threw them in the trash in front of the entire class and scolded me for bringing food into the classroom. It was the first time I felt real hatred for him. I hated him for making me cry, I hated him for throwing away the snacks I had given him, and I hated him for acting this way. So, I continued to hate him until my fourth year. You know the rest of the story from there. 

What was I thinking? A man who can treat people like utter trash. What type of future could we have had? Me, his wife. Possibly children and pets. Not very smart of me. Maybe I don't deserve to be in Ravenclaw. I can't even ask him anymore, what was the point of treating everyone like they aren't even human beings? What was the point of every detention? Taking house points? Picking on Neville, Ron, Harry, and Hermione? Picking on me? How do you go from being a hateful bastard to loving your student?! 

Ink splattered across the page, from my quill. I've been jotting down everything I can remember. How can I hate and love someone at the same time? I just can't seem to put logic into this. Maybe that's the problem, love isn't logical. I sighed and left my journal open to dry. It was the middle of the night and all that could be heard was the occasional pipes being banged on by the attic ghoul. The other girls were already asleep and I found myself sleepless. My mind kept humming with thoughts and if telling myself to bug off would work, I'd do it. Maybe I should just use obliviate. I'd forget all about him, but I also still want answers. I deserve to know why. I could feel the anger snaking its way through my veins. 

I closed my journal after I checked to make sure the ink was dry, placing it into my bag. I don't know what I'm more upset about right now. At Snape or myself. I feel like I should have known. Like somehow this is all my fault and to make matters worse, I don't know what to do now. I know I can't continue to live here with Ron's family. I have to go home soon. My very empty home. I sighed. All I had now was my uncle and pets. That could change now as well. Most people knew now that Voldemort had risen back up with his followers in tow. Another war. A lot of people are going to die and my father, one of the most powerful wizards of our time is dead. All that's left are people in the OOTP and possibly the ministry if they ever pull their wands out of their arses. 

I'll wait till after the wedding before I go back home for good. Maybe, I should just leave the country. I could travel the world. I could go to Paris or Japan. Maybe somewhere with sandy white beaches. Someplace far away from here. I just don't have it in me to leave my friends with the trying times to come. I wish I could be so selfish. I groaned to myself as I made my bed and went downstairs to silently clean. Maybe Molly will be happy in the morning. I did everything by hand to keep myself busy. I started with the dishes and swept the downstairs of the house. I went to feed the owls once the sun started to rise and then went to the garden to de-gnome it. 

I scrubbed windows, tables, and countertops. I wiped down the stovetop. I took down the laundry they had airing out and folded them, putting them in the laundry basket. Molly came down and looked around the house as if she had no idea where she was. ''Good morning Raylona, were you up all night?'' I nodded. I couldn't sleep, so I took care of some chores. I was about to start making breakfast.'' She smiled. ''Why don't you set the table dear and make some coffee? I'll make breakfast.''  I put the coffee on and set the table. Molly made eggs, bacon, and toast. Then yelled for everyone to come down to breakfast. One by one people slowly trickled down. I ate my breakfast slowly, the feeling of fatigue finally setting in.  I went upstairs to shower after I finished eating and changed into something simple to wear. T-shirt and shorts. I yawned and Squeek pinned himself to my shirt after munching down some fairy eggs. I fed Violet and Lady next. giving them all quick pets. ''Do you have plans for today?'' George slinked into the room. ''I was thinking of paying a visit to my uncle and I need to pick up a new dress for the wedding.'' George smiled. ''I could go with you if you wanted me to.'' I shrugged. ''Why not?'' 

We apperated to Hogsmead, heading straight to the Hog's head. I opened the door and went straight to the bar where my uncle had been turned away, cleaning some mugs. ''Morning good sir.'' I said with a small smile. George took a seat next to me, looking around the bar. My uncle turned around with a grumble before his eyes lit up as they finally found me. ''Ah, my sweet girl. I was starting to wonder when I'd see you again. How have you been?'' I sighed and shook my head. ''I guess as fine as I could be.'' He poured two butter beers and placed them in front of us.

''I know things have been rough. Are you going to return to school?'' I bit the inside of my lip and let out a tsk. ''I don't know. I was thinking of maybe traveling but I don't think that's an option either with the events that have happened recently. I guess it depends on what really happens next." There was a dead silence for a minute. "Ah look I have to go get a dress but it was great to see you, uncle." I gave him a tight hug. "But you haven't even touched your butter beers." He said sadly. "I know, it's just getting late and I have other errands to run." He nodded. "Please, be safe." I told him and he nodded with a smile. "You too."

It wasn't long before I found the perfect dress. I twirled around for George with a semi-smile to my face. "Wow, Ray. You look... Beautiful." I tucked my hair behind my ear shyly. "Thank you. I think this is the one." I changed back into my clothes and took the dress to check out. We apperated back to the Weasleys and I sat down on the soft grass looking up at the sky. George sat beside me. "It's something else, isn't it? Something else besides Dumbledore's death?" He muttered and my heart sank. "Is it that kid that died because he kept harassing you?.." I shook my head no. "I haven't actually thought about him in a while." I admitted. "But there is something else." He continued and I nodded, closing my eyes tightly. "Yes, there is something else bothering me but I don't want to talk about it. I'm trying to leave it behind me but it's hard, I feel haunted." George put his hand on mine and smiled. "I.. can help, you know? Whatever you need, I'll be there for you." I nodded with a real smile, turning to look at him. "Thanks." I laid my head on his shoulder, we stared at the sky in silence and eventually, my mind wandered back to him.