All the things I never told you

I think of you when time stands still

Dear Korra,

It's been three weeks. Three whole weeks since you left for the South Pole. How are your parents? And Katara? Tenzin told me you made the decision to stay longer so you can take more time to heal. You didn't ask but I think that's a great idea, it'll give you more time to recooperate and visit family and friends you haven't seen in awhile. From the bottom of my heart I hope your doing okay, I miss you so much. Republic City really does feel empty without you here to the point where I can't remember what it felt like without your presence.

We've gotten closer than I could have ever imagined this past year. I guess after the whole Mako mess it gave us time to look at ourselves as simply people rather than competitors or enemies, not that I ever saw you as an enemy persay. Part of me wonders how two people who were once so cold and distant became so close in the first place. Oftentimes I lie awake at night worrying about you. Is that weird? Maybe it is but that day, at Laghima's Peak and the surrounding area where you battled Zaheer. Watching you fall from the sky beaten, bloodied and poisned. Sitting lifelessly in your dad's arms. I thought I was going to lose you. The thought still haunts me whenever I drift to far into my own thoughts or when a bad dream jolts me awake at the dead of night.

I was helpless- I felt the same hatred towards Zaheer that My dad felt towards Bender's. It was scary, the fact that even just for a second, having to admit I could have related to my father in that way. The truth is, I can't imagine my life without you. As weird as it may seem you are everything to me Korra. You're the reason I check my mailbox in the mornings, eagerly waiting for your response, the reason my cabinet is stocked with junk food I don't even eat, the reason I'm able to withstand excruciating hours in the office. You are the reason my life is worth living, and not just living but also enjoying.

I was never suicidal but there was always apart of me, ever since my mom passed that hated living. The same routines every single day. Long hours of self-defense classes my father shoved down my throat, highclass meetings with corrupt socialites, and laying in my bed staring at my ceiling are the common memories I have of my childhood. Everything changed when you came to Republic City, it changed the night of that ball.

You were beautiful, you always are, and probably always have been. I can still vividly picture you in that deep blue Water Tribe dress with your cute little signature hairstyle. Something drew me to you and at the time I wasn't sure what. I know what it was now.

You changed my life. You gave me a family, a real one. It's messy and crazy, but it's mine. Ours, rather. I can't imagine what my life would be like without it. Without you.

At first you hated me, you don't have to lie, I know you did. I also know it wasn't really anything I did. You wanted Mako and I had him at the time, I promise you I would have likely felt the same in your situation. The thing is, the more you hated me, the more I wanted to prove you wrong. Show you that I was cool or I don't know? worth being your friend? It sounds dumb I know it does.

But hey, I did it. Days later I got you in that car and on my prized racetrack and we had the time of our life, atleast I know for sure you did. I could practically hear your fingernails digging into the leather seat as we took a sharp turn, and the smile plastered on your face when we got out was straight out of a fairytale. The wave of relief that came over me during the talk we had soon after. The one where you admitted you had me pegged wrong, do you remember that? Did you know my heart was pounding so hard I could feel it outside of my chest? Did you feel the same?

I'm sorry if this is freaking you out. I might not send this. I want you to know the way in which I feel for you, but another part worries you'll leave for good. Especially if you don't feel the same, which i'm sure you don't. How could you? How could someone as brave, as kind, and good as you love someone like me? You risked your whole life for a dying nation and here I am trying to convince myself not to send you a love letter at 3:00 A.M because I know it's selfish, your trying to heal, you don't need me. If you did I'd be in the South Pole right now not writing this letter to you.

Part of me knows things will get back to normal. Company functions will return to busy speed, things have been slow lately resulting in...well this. but spirits, this is eating me alive, Korra. I imagine whatever I'm going through it's worse for you having to sit in that god damn bed all day. I hate that, I hate what they did to you, and I love you. I wish you were here, I wish I could comfort you, but you're about 1,000 miles away.

A painstakingly awful situation indeed. I can't wait to see you. I'm always here if you need to talk, I know I said it once but I'd say it a million times, and perhaps a million more if it meant making the difference that made you see yourself the way I see you. Please take care of yourself.

Love, Asami