All the things I never told you

glue

Dear Korra,

I hung out with Mako the other day, he seems like he's doing okay. It had been awhile since we last saw each other, probably since you left for the South Pole. He's always so busy with the force and me with reconstruction. Honestly it was weird seeing him without Bolin and more importantly without you.

I've realized something more and more since the moment you left Republic City. You are the glue that holds Team Avatar together. I guess that makes sense doesn't it? I mean you are the Avatar afterall. Really though, it's more than that.

You were the one who initially brought us together when you snuck into that pro-bending match. You let Mako and Bolin, and later me. You kept us together through thick and thin. Wether it was relationship struggles or moral betrayals you chose to see the best in every single one of us. Sometimes even before we saw it in ourselves.

I mean seriously, if Mako had been that much of a jerk to me when we first met I would have cut and run. Honestly if it weren't for you I would have cut my losses and ghosted him after the whole "cheating" incident. If that's what you can even call it.

My point is, you're probably one of the best people anyone could ever have as a friend. Which is ironic seeing that you grew up in an isolated compound in the South Pole. Where anyone else would have been akward and reserved you were outgoing and bright.

People look at us, Team Avatar, and they think we were brought together because of the Avatar. When really, it had nothing to do with your elemental powers. It was always you, seriously Korra, you're amazing.

I look forward to seeing you everyday. Coming to terms with how I feel about you- it's been difficult. I know I don't see us as "just friends" but you? That's all you see us as. That scares me. What if I lose you, lose what we have because I can't put my feelings aside?

It's better this way. I have to believe that if you felt the same way things would have been different. That something would have happened, anything, but it never did. Maybe you do feel the same? That would explain glances and smiled you've given me, with a look I could never quite read properly. Is it worth the risk?

I want to say it is. Really, it's not. I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all even if it hurts... is there really any use in wondering what could be? Especially when the chances you feel the same are slim to none?

Do you think it was this hard for Mako? I considered asking him for advice at one point. The thought of asking my ex for advice about getting with his ex made me stray clear from that. Of course I could have said it was someone different but I've never been a good liar. He would probably be able to see through it if I didn't slip first.

Maybe I'm overthinking. I just wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you in person. Anything would be better than hours slouched over a desk writing letters. Half of which never even make it into your embrace.

I think somedays I might end up ruining myself over this. I can't focus, or eat, or even sleep. No matter how hard I try I can't ignore you. Rather, I can't ignore the fact that you're gone.

The fact that Bolin is working with that woman. What was her name... the one that saved your dad at Laghima's Point? Ah! Kuvira! Anyways, he's been gone for a couple months now. Apparently he's "saving" the Earth Kingdom. It sounds complicated but he's happy so I'm happy for him.

Then there's Mako who's here, living less than fifteen minutes away from me. Which only makes it more frustrating that we never see eachother. He's busy with police stuff, and I try to remind myself that. It still hurts.

It hurts that they're gone. That you're gone. Our little makeshift family is seperate for now and I feel all alone. I find myself at Air Temple Island often. It's comforting being around the little Airbenders, Jinora, Tenzin, Kya, and all the others.

It reminds me that this situation isn't permanent. Even if it feels that way sometimes. I don't mean to be depressing, sorry if it came off that way. I'm just angry and sad... and so so alone.

I miss you.

Love, Asami.